You are looking for a soul mate, you dream of a story that will bring you softness and comfort. You strum on dating sites or pace single aperitifs relentlessly. Meetings happen, but silences take over… Why? How? ‘Or’ What? What to do? What to say? In this article, we will try to analyze the silence after the first date.
Everything is going well and… Silence after the first date…
You have your first date with a future partner and everything seems to go like clockwork. It’s light, pleasant, and peppered with laughter and stares. You feel that there is a feeling and a real understanding between you two! This feeling makes you feel like you’ve finally found the person who will make you the happiest person in the world. In short, this first meeting seems successful! Corn…
After the date, you send a message thanking the other person for a pleasant evening. The next morning, when you get up, you notice that you have no answer, no problem, you start again with a short SMS: “ I hope you had a good time, thank you for this delicious evening ”. You wait, one hour, two hours, the day goes by and still nothing! Why? What did you do wrong?
Why does the person remain silent?
If after your meeting, there is no feedback or the person does not respond to your messages, there are generally three cases:
1. The person had a bad time
Unfortunately, your feeling of having had a good evening turns out to be a one-sided impression. The other didn’t have a good time and doesn’t want to follow through on the relationship. Maybe you weren’t clear enough about your expectations and the needs of the other. It is possible that you are looking for lightness while the other wanted seriousness or vice versa. You may have spoken too much or not enough: it doesn’t matter! We can miss dates and that’s not a problem. What matters is to be able to realize concretely what really happened. I, therefore, invite you to reflect and replay the film of the evening to find out where the “blocking” took place. If you can figure it out, it will be easier for you to remedy the situation on the next date.
It could also be that the person responded positively to your request because they simply had nothing else to do that evening. We are not immune! It may also be that she discusses with several people at the same time and that she makes comparisons to keep the best profiles (welcome to the air of overconsumption in love!).
So she switched after the first date and decided to go “to the next one”! This can happen when you meet people on the internet. Do not be offended! It is the principle of choice and demand (and yes, Internet dating is more and more akin to Marketing strategy!): Nothing to do with you!
3. The person is desired / questions himself
The last case is that of the person who is desired. Perhaps it will be necessary to insist a little more to make her react. This is why you should never bombard with messages when you have no answers. Maybe your date was perfect down the line, but the person needs to know if they’ve got something for you. If so, I’ll hear from you soon enough!
Silence after the first date… How to react?
I advise you not to take things personally otherwise it will be hell! First, you will analyze the evening and question yourself by asking yourself the following question: did I make any mistakes? You may have been too considerate, too clingy, or too intrusive in wanting to get to know the person. Maybe you sent a too urgent message after the first date or you were too pushy writing several messages that went unanswered. If you can pinpoint the mistake that was made, you will be in a better position to correct it. Either way, stay yourself because the person you’re going to be in a relationship with is going to have to accept you for who you are! If you have to completely change your personality just to find someone:
Stay cool, analyze, correct and have fun in every encounter. Sooner or later you will find the right person.