Breaking up is probably one of the experiences we all have at some point in life. There is no one-size-fits-all formula, but if you’re going through this ordeal, check out our tips for anyone looking to turn the page with their ex after a breakup. We hope they will be of great help to you!
How to turn the page with your ex after a breakup?
1. Change carefully
We are commonly advised to work on creating a “new me” after the breakup. However, drastically changing your routine, or going crazy during the grieving period, could be bad for you, rather than helping you.
For example, getting a tattoo or adopting a pet won’t change how you feel about your ex. You already know many emotional changes, there is no need to increase your trauma by an act that you might regret later.
2. No more feeling guilty!
In hindsight, you may have the impression that this story could have gone better if you had acted this way or that. In reality, it is impossible to know. Martyring yourself is a waste of energy, which only produces negative emotions and only delays the healing process. Rather, bear in mind that each relationship contains its teaching, each deepens our knowledge of ourselves and allows us to better see our needs in order to be happy.
Of course, the two people who formed the couple contributed to the breakdown of the relationship, but when you understand how much of the blame is really on you, you will be able to act differently. You will be able to implement changes in your behavior: for example, you will learn to better establish limits, you will improve your communication skills, or you will take the opportunity to make your next relationship more surprising.
3. Come back down to earth
It is difficult to realize that the majority of separations, in reality, are the result of a more or less long process and that the relationship has worn down over time. In general, relationships don’t end abruptly, and they don’t come as a total surprise to us. A series of actions, which everyone took, probably led to the breaking point.
In fact, we tend to eliminate part of what made up the relationship to remember only the best and, paradoxically, it’s probably this idealization that makes us suffer. Most people don’t really want to get back the relationship they had, the dream of the perfect couple from the early days keeps them in that illusion.
Almost all relationships are good at first, otherwise, they wouldn’t have started, but a relationship is not limited to these beginnings: there are good times and bad times as well. Sometimes it’s better to end it before the relationship boils down to a prolonged bad time.
4. Visualize your future (without your ex)
Now is the time to focus on the future and build a very precise picture of it. How beautiful it is, this time when we managed to overcome our ex!
Trips, parties, meetings with other people, the resumption of this activity that you had left aside because he did not like it. The world is full of possibilities and a breakup is also an opportunity to rediscover yourself and to begin a relationship with yourself.
5. Take care of yourself and love yourself
Accepting that a relationship has ended is also a declaration of love for yourself, because leaving a relationship that was not working is also loving yourself. Ultimately, you can’t expect someone to treat you better than yourself. Looking at yourself also helps improve your state of mind.
Finally, being in a relationship helps you to see yourself more clearly. Every relationship we have is a reflection of what we bring to the world every time. Realize that no relationship is a failure of having ended. If you’ve grown as a person and learned something that moves your life forward, then the whole relationship will have been meaningful and it will even be a success.