How to get revenge on your ex

There are more or less subtle ways to get back at your ex. When the latter has dealt you a real low blow, it is quite legitimate to want to do justice to yourself.

Here are some tolerated methods:

1-      Send him back all the gifts he may have offered you during your relationship. Yes, even this sublime silver necklace, the goal is to make her believe that nothing that happened between you mattered.

2-      Show yourself with another boy on Facebook. Especially no “free relationship” status. No status at all. Just a few photos. The goal is not to come across as an easy girl. And if the boy in question is just a friend, the outcome will be the same. He and your ex just don’t know each other (or don’t know much) so that your ex can’t find out. The important thing is to make him doubt.

3-      Keep in touch with your friends. The ex-sweetheart in your life will feel silly and very frustrated if their own friends keep seeing you.

4-      Get a promotion. You need to channel your anger and turn it into constructive energy. Throw yourself headlong into your job. If he finds out, your ex will think you are better off without him.

5-      Get you invited to the same party as him. Once, twice maximum. He must not think that you are following him. On this occasion, you will prepare with the greatest care, so as to be at the top of your sexy tube ( without falling into vulgarity of course).

6-      Go on a trip. You can organize a vacation with your friends. This is the opportunity to twitter to death to show everyone how free you are, fulfilled, in short happy (even if, deep down, you still think of your ex).

7-      Flood your mailbox with spam. Sneaky revenge is yours! Leave his address to business sites, subscribe to online games and other contests.

8-      Give your number to guys you meet in a club. A little embarrassing for a heterosexual to receive hot boiling messages signed by the dancefloor Keke.

9-      Slide pieces of raw meat into his mailbox. You will have to choose a strategic moment, preferably in the morning so that the smell has time to spread to the maximum before the gentleman comes home from work. The trick also works with your Jack Russel’s poop but requires more courage.

10-   Move on to something else. Simply. If there have been real feelings between you and him, he will inevitably suffer. It is also the only way for you to heal.

 

Be careful, when you want to get revenge on your ex, you shouldn’t overdo it either.

Here are the methods to avoid:

1-      Do not give him back his things. You’re angry, okay. But there are things your ex really cares about and not giving it back would only make it worse (the overpriced watch offered by your favorite grandmother or the minutes of her last reunion for example).

2-      Display yourself with a multitude of boys on Facebook. Besides coming off like a slut, chances are you will shame him and congratulate him on your breakup.

3-      Go out with one of his friends. He will be jealous, that yes. But so angry that he risks building up the pressure. Then the situation will not be very pleasant for you either. Especially since if one day you break up with the friend in question it is easy to guess the kind of discussions he will be able to have with your ex.

4-      Resign. Breaking up love and changing your professional life doesn’t always go hand in hand. You think you are proving to your ex, the whole world, and yourself that you are free and able to take risks, but it can be a hard landing. If you really feel the need to quit your job, think twice and plan your new project carefully.

5-      Get you invited to the same party as him and drink. Heavy drinking will put you in a weak position and may make you say/do things you would regret.

6-      Go on a spring break. You thought you would let your thirst for life and your sense of celebration burst out, but you come back with an empty wallet and a shattered dignity.

7-      Harass him with anonymous emails. It will not help you to forget it, on the contrary. As for your ex, he may simply change his address.

8-      Give your number to a boring girl. Who tells you he’s not going to like it, the bitch? You would be even more mortified if he were to go out with this girl you can’t supervise.

9-      Put a firecracker in his mailbox. Because you’re not a ten-year-old shit and it would be a shame if he exploded in the face of the first passerby (see the movie The Butterfly Effect with Ashton Kutcher).

10-  Hire a professional killer. Be reasonable. You will no longer be able to show your hatred to your ex if he is no longer in this world.

And you, have you ever taken revenge on an evil ex?

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