How do you stop loving someone? (Study)

How do you stop loving someone? This is a very difficult question! Because, as we often hear “love cannot be controlled”. What if it wasn’t true?

How do you stop loving someone?

Whether you’ve had a difficult breakup or are paying the price for unrequited love, in any case, you want to stop loving someone.

You have the feeling that it will never be possible, your love is too strong, too intense for you to imagine for a single second that it will leave your heart one day. 

And that is precisely your first mistake!

How do you stop loving someone? Personal development exercises

I don’t know if you’ve seen the documentary “The Secret” which is available on Netflix. It is completely far-fetched, I grant you! Nevertheless, it deals with an important subject for our article: that of the law of attraction?

To begin with, to stop loving someone, you have to start by making positive affirmations.

1 / Positive affirmations (or negative about the person you no longer want to love)

Creating positive affirmations has a more than a considerable impact on the emotional and the intellectual. The idea is to give the brain suggestions that will induce behavioral reactions.

I know it sounds crazy, but it really works if you do it regularly and overtime! It takes energy because it’s not just about repeating a sentence to yourself but really about visualizing it and believing it. Each affirmation should ideally be repeated twice a day (in the evening and in the morning).

Read also: 5 things to do absolutely after a painful breakup

The idea would therefore be to repeat negative affirmations about the person you want to stop loving and positive affirmations about yourself without that person!

2 / visualization to stop loving someone

The idea is to create mental images for positive purposes to modify a habit or achieve a goal. Through visualization, we will create our own desires from our minds.

As with positive affirmations, you will therefore need to create negative visualizations about the person you want to stop loving and positive visualizations about yourself without that person!

Example :

You don’t want to love it anymore:

  • You imagine yourself without him, alone, and fully happy (it will be difficult the first few times but it will come as you go. It really is a form of meditation).
  • You imagine yourself with another man, fully happy.
  • You imagine it ugly, uninteresting.
  • You visualize all your conflicts, all the times he hurt you


3 / Stop loving someone thanks to the Love Regulation (Study)

Some research suggests that love is controllable by implementing behavioral and cognitive strategies to control our feelings. We then speak of “love regulation”, love regulation. These techniques could rekindle the flame when it goes out, and extinguish it when we suffer a breakup. (cf: Lebonbon )

The researchers asked the 40 participants to bring back photos of their past or current partner. Then, they asked the participants to regulate their love using either the technique of “reevaluation” and “up-regulating” (for those who wanted to rekindle the flame in the couple) or “down-regulating” (for those who wanted to stop loving someone. 

Take a photo of the person you want to stop loving and focus on the negative aspects in order to “down-regulate” your love.

To give you an idea of ​​the results of those who participated in the study: those who “down-regulate” already felt less love after viewing the photo. Proof = They measured their brain waves while they were doing the exercise.

How do you stop loving someone? The mistake you make without realizing it

There is a mistake that EVERYBODY makes regarding breakup: it is not to want to “dislike”. You may cry out loud and see “I no longer want to love her”, in reality, you indulge in this impossible love. I know, it’s not pleasant to read and you must be like “she didn’t get it, she doesn’t know how I feel”. If I know. Exactly.

Did you throw away EVERYTHING that came from him? ANYTHING that reminded you of your relationship? Have you deleted it from ALL social networks?

Most of the time, the answer will be “no”. And the problem is there: when you really want to stop loving someone, the ESSENTIAL first step is to sweep it up!

However, many people do not succeed because it is “too hard”, “beyond their strength”. In reality, if you are in this case, it is because you still have not gotten over your breakup.   Despite you, a hope, however small it may be, still lingers deep in your heart. 

This hope causes you to not be able to move forward, to meet other people. Acceptance is undoubtedly the most painful and slowest phase of a breakup. So cry, exorcise your emotions, and, once you are ready, then you can stop loving the person in question by applying all of the tips above.

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