Let it be said, getting out of a close relationship is not easy. The fusion relation could summarize it with this calculation: “1 + 1 = 1”. In a fusional couple, the 2 individuals are one. That’s why they spend a lot of time together and believe they are right for each other. This is because they feel a fusion of their bodies, their hearts, and their souls. So if the breakup occurs, it’s a traumatic, heartbreaking event, because they feel like they are losing part of themselves, becoming incomplete. They have a very violent feeling of lack. Why?
Because the other was a drug. In a fusional relationship, the two people depend on each other. Without the other, life has no meaning. So how do you get over a breakup when you were in a close relationship?
Combrate your inner emptiness to get out of a fusional relationship
At first, if you come out of a fusional relationship, you will surely feel a great inner emptiness. You have an almost vital need to fill this void, this nothingness, this emotional loneliness with something. But what?
Now is the time to listen to yourself, to listen to your needs. Do not judge yourself, and do not hesitate for example to leave the television on, to put on some music to have a feeling of presence. Because the silence is surely unbearable to you at this stage.
You have the right to go back to childhood for a while, sleep with your teddy bear, or even go back to your parents so they can take care of you, especially if you don’t feel like it yourself.
Recreate a social life
If you were in a close relationship, there is a good chance that you put aside your other relationships (family, friends, etc.). This is also the time to rebalance your social life, as soon as you feel ready.
Because you used to give all your relationship energy to one person, your ex. Disperse this energy around you again, to create an inner balance. For this, it will be necessary to reconnect with your friends, to go out, to do new activities …
Learn to appreciate loneliness after a close relationship
Along with your social life, you are also going to have to learn to appreciate solitude. Because having been in a fusional relationship, you may be suffering from emotional dependence. That is to say that the very idea of being single, of being alone in your home, maybe unbearable, because you depend on the other to be happy.
Accept this pain, not endure loneliness, this is normal. But know that you can learn to appreciate solitude over time. Loneliness can even become your friend!
You can become your best friend. Talk to yourself, make confidences, joke … Take an interest in what you feel, be reassured, have empathy for yourself. You are not alone, because you are with the person most important to you: yourself!
When you come out of a close relationship, your self-esteem is lower than zero, because you feel like you no longer exist. Realize that you have melted into your ex as if you no longer exist as an autonomous individual.
Today you have to accept that you are no longer “the wife of X”, “the spouse of Y”… You are a whole person, and that surely makes you feel strange.
It’s up to you to reconstruct your own identity, independent of that of your ex. This relationship is now part of the past, and we will have to move forward on your side, with autonomy.
Learn to love yourself, to take care of yourself. You don’t need someone else to exist, to be happy. I assure you, you are more than enough.
You are not alone, ever, because you can always rely on yourself, have confidence in yourself. Never forget that you have incredible strength that you are not yet aware of. Wait until you see …
Conclusion: recovering after a close relationship
When you come out of a close relationship, it’s even more difficult to get over it, because the other was like our drug, and you have to go through a period of withdrawal. It won’t be easy, that’s for sure, so don’t hesitate to count on those around you to take care of yourself. But above all, keep in mind that even if you have the impression that you are missing your other half, that you no longer exist, it is only an impression.
The need for fusion is vital at certain times in life, especially childhood and old age when one depends on others for survival.
But today you don’t need to depend on anyone other than yourself. So now is a good time to reconnect with yourself, to get to know and truly love yourself. Good luck!