1) Do not take and give news AT ALL!
You have most likely already reconnected with your ex several times. As you must have realized, it was pointless! We must make a clean sweep of the past, you must no longer try to hear from your ex or give it to him. This is complex, I am not saying the opposite, since the habit has been present for a long time. We will have to succeed in filling the gap created by this change!
In addition to that, we will have to do some cleaning to stop thinking about him!
How to do it?
The different steps
1) Walk around the house and get rid of items that remind you of your old relationship, put away photos and gifts as well as other keepsakes that may constantly remind you of your ex’s existence. I know it’s difficult but it’s the only way for you to move forward and give yourself a chance to get better. You can no longer have any memories that could make you think of him. All the material must imperatively disappear! It will be necessary very quickly to return his business to him in order to symbolically “close” the relationship. You don’t need to be there when he picks up his business because you might be tempted to change his mind.
2) Change your interior. You can change the furniture places to freshen up your home while giving yourself a little help to get better quickly. Why not repaint the walls and buy some plants? Reupholster? Change the bed of places? Take the time to re-decorate your interior. This step is really very important because it will take time and change your mind. You are not immune to discovering a passion for gardening or upholstery!
2) Change the way you speak in order to change your thinking
Your ex is still there, present in your mind, in spite of you! But you have to move on and give yourself the means to do it, even if you have to go through the suffering.
Prohibit yourself from:
- 1) Say your first name,
- 2) Talk about your relationship,
- 3) Think about the activities you did with him,
You will see, by forcing yourself to stop thinking about him, about yourself, you will allow your brain to focus on other things, other people, other places, other activities …
You will have to be strict with yourself! Your mission: Get better!
To get there, there are not 36,000 solutions: you must somehow become novelist, think only of yourself!
You will quickly realize that the couple as they were could not suit your mutual expectations. You were no longer on the same wavelength.
Take the time you need, ask yourself questions about yourself, your ex, your former couple, what you want now, in the future.
3) keep a logbook
In this journal you will note your progress every day:
- I did not send him an SMS
- I did not call him
- I didn’t think of him / I thought of him at such and such a moment (note precisely the place and the situation)
- I had fun by buying…., visiting …. while reading ….
You will quickly see your progress as the days go by!
You will be proud of yourself and you will want to continue!
4) Positive affirmations
An affirmation is a phrase that will allow you to project yourself into the future. This projection will allow you to imagine what positive things you want to put in your life.
It’s a short sentence in which you express what you want to have done or be.
It will be necessary to suggest to the brain images loaded with emotions and sensory implications. In this way, you will be able to induce body reactions and even selected behaviors that will eventually take place through training.
It is by dint of repetition that the brain will hear and then understand and accept to change its mode of operation.
Example: Say you tell yourself you deserve the best. This statement is said in the morning and evening for a minimum of 21 days. By force, you will realize that you will accept less than you are disrespected. You’re going to want to feel better about yourself and your head. You will be drawn to that which allows you to rise.
Below are examples of statements. You must be able to create your own affirmations because they must be in line with the vision of your brain.
Here are different examples of statements based on Louise Hay’s works
- It is love that animates my life.
- I receive the love that I give.
- I am the creator and the actor of my life.
- I still trust myself.
- Love always makes the pain go away.
- My body is at peace, happy, healthy and so am I.
- I turn lessons to learn into fun.
- Every moment is a new beginning.
It is very important to visualize what you are saying. For example, if your affirmation is “It is love that animates my life” you must imagine yourself happy and filled with love.