We all, or almost, know how painful and difficult heartache can be. Indeed, who has never suffered because of a painful breakup? When this happens, being well surrounded is essential not to sink and to get out of this pain. The closest friends are the people who can help you get better. Has one of your friends just left? She’s having a difficult breakup? It is your role to help him get better and see things differently. How to console a friend who has heartache? Here is what you can do for her and with her to help her mourn her love life and regain a taste for happiness.
How to console a friend who has heartache?
It sounds silly to say but it is the basis. A friend who has heartache is not going to get better in two days. It is therefore for the duration that you must be present for her in order to console her. Check-in with her regularly and ask her how she is feeling. Always remind her that you are there to support her in this painful ordeal. Do not wait for her to come to you because she might need you, without daring to ask you directly. Call her, text her or leave her a message to let her know that you are thinking of her, without harassing her of course but while remaining vigilant and present even from a distance.
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Being a listening ear and a comforting shoulder are the essentials for consoling a friend. Know how to listen and be compassionate when she needs to talk. Moreover, think more about listening than talking, give your friend the time and space necessary to express her emotions. Encourage her to open up by reminding her that you are there for her, without any judgment and in full listening. To do this, avoid drowning her with advice or telling her about your last heartbreak. It’s about her, not you, so give her the opportunity to vent, to empty her bag without cutting her off. The time for advice and comparisons will come later. Sharing her feelings, confiding in herself, and letting go of everything will help her get better.
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How to console a friend who has heartache? Comfort her
After the passive listening time, it is possible to comfort her more actively by comforting her not just with your presence, but also with your words. Share her pain with heartwarming words like “You are not alone in this ordeal, I am here for you”. If that may seem insufficient at the moment, seeing that you are really there for her day after day will make her relativize the rest little by little. You can tell her that her heartache is a bad time to go, but her pain won’t be forever. It is a truth which she will become aware of as time goes by. Soon she will see this ordeal as another life experience.
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Ask your friend how she is feeling, and accept her state and her current emotion: sadness, anger, disappointment, guilt … Indeed, if you ask her how she is, be ready to hear her answer. Be empathetic and compassionate without judgment, just acknowledge her grief and tell her that you are sorry that she has to go through this. To console her with empathy, encourage her to express her emotions, for example by emptying her emotional bag through writing, going out to cry out in nature, or venting her anger by going to play sports.
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Encourage her to grieve in love
Heartache takes time to recover. To do this, you have to go through the different stages of mourning in love. The stages of grief usually include sadness, shock, remorse, and lack . It is normal for your friend to go through her phases in turn and at her own pace according to her personality and sensitivity.
Your friend has to deal with her emotions in order to get through this painful time. To do this, encourage him to face the situation. Remind her that she will never get better if she refuses to face her emotions. Indeed, to manage your emotions well, you should not bury them or repress them, but let them come out so that they can free you from their weight. Remind her that the pain does not last forever, that it is a healing process.
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Give it time
In shock, your friend may refuse to speak and at least isolate herself at first. Don’t rush her. Give her time to digest the breakup and perhaps take stock of the relationship that is ending. You will surely have for several days and weeks to hear and hear again the same stories, memories, reproaches against your ex, and to wipe away his tears. Be patient, not pushy. Indeed, even if you want to help him, know that you will not be able to force him to accept your help. Be patient and understanding and don’t hold it against him.
Help her to be positive despite everything
Your friend is surely bad in her skin after this breakup, she can denigrate herself, doubt herself, and lose confidence in her value. Remind her that she is strong and exists on her own, independent of someone. Reassure her about her qualities and values, tell her what you admire about her. She must not lose her self-confidence or her zest for life. To do this, also help her to refocus on the positive elements in her life. Remind her of the activities she likes to do, invite her to regain her enthusiasm and independence. Indeed, after having worked as a couple for a while, it is possible that she has lost her bearings as a person., then individual. Help him realize that she is perfectly capable of living a satisfying life without being in a relationship by encouraging him to do things with friends or even alone.
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How to console a friend who has heartache? Help her with little attentions
If you notice that your friend is struggling to get better and neglects everyday tasks, for example, offer to help her. Do her shopping, help her not to miss an exam, to return a file on time, to take care of the children, according to her age and her personal situation. Adapt your aid to the situation.
Surprise him with a little attention by having him delivered a pizza or by going to her house to cook him food. Stay asleep, get several friends together, book a treatment or a massage in a beauty salon … And when you feel that she is starting to get better, that it is the right time, suggest that she take her mind off things. ” have fun with activities or ideas for outings that he or she enjoys. Shopping, drinks, restaurants, movies, dancing… Go at your own pace but while ensuring that there is an evolution towards better well-being. All these little attentions are direct or indirect ways to console her and help her forget her heartache.