I feel lonely: 12 things to do to stop feeling lonely
# 1 think about the reason for your loneliness
The first step is to ask yourself what is missing in your life. Why do you feel lonely? Because of your celibacy, of friends who have moved away over time, of a dispersed family?
Then the goal is to go a little further. You may know what is missing in your life, but what are the reasons?
Look for the causes of this absence. Does your job isolate you? Do you live in an area where you are far from most of your friends? Or are you a shy person who struggles to form new relationships? Thinking about the causes and not just the consequences of your loneliness will help you find levers for change.
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# 2 Take care of yourself
Understanding your loneliness differently will teach you to appreciate it and not feel alone anymore. There are plenty of things to do when you are alone to take care of yourself. We don’t necessarily have time with work, sometimes with children, to take care of ourselves. So take it, this time of relaxation to pamper yourself. Relaxing bath, restorative nap, face and body treatments, massage in institute, hairdressing salon, nail treatment, spa, hammam, shopping session to indulge yourself. There are plenty of ways to take care of yourself, body and soul, to feel better about yourself and use your loneliness to indulge yourself .
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# 3 meditate
Meditation and its benefits are well established. And if there is one activity for which solitude and silence are essential, this is it ! Don’t put any pressure on yourself and go at your own pace. Find the method that’s right for you if you’re new to it, check out Youtube, or download a meditation app to your phone. Choose the right place and time in your home to empty yourself. Concentrating on your breath, on your sensations will help you to understand your loneliness differently and to appreciate it.
# 4 write your journal
The virtues of writing are also to be taken into account when you feel alone. You don’t need to be a spelling expert or have a quill to write down your thoughts, feelings, dreams. Maybe you had a diary when you were a teenager? Well, it’s kind of the same principle. This activity between you and your thoughts is liberating . Putting everything you feel down on paper, what you experience, what you hope will allow you to achieve where you are and what you want from life. It is a solitary activity but one which can have the power to get you out of your loneliness and to open you to the world around you and to others.
# 5 Make your life project or bucket list: things to do to stop feeling alone
Defining your life project means reconciling all the parts of yourself that want to do different things to reveal the best version of yourself . Build a personal project that really makes sense and will allow you to accomplish yourself in the future. And this, on all levels (love life, family, professional, social, …). His list of life projects is the realization of a life dream (or a set of life dreams) .
The famous bucket list , on the other hand, represents all the things that we have not yet done and that we want to do before dying. It is the reflection of all our desires, our projects, our dreams. It is not planning everything, lacking spontaneity for all that, but it is listing your desires and having the pleasure of crossing them out once they are realized.
These two personal development exercises are distinct but can be complementary. It’s up to you to choose the one that speaks to you the most. In both cases, it will allow you to project yourself and no longer stay locked in your feeling of loneliness. This will help you regain the urge to step out of your comfort zone.
# 6 spend less time on social media
It may seem paradoxical and yet … We have never been so connected to others, and yet we have never felt so alone … The different social networks play a determining role in the feeling of loneliness. You might have a lot of friends on Facebook, Instagram, or Snapchat , but few, if any, of them will actually help you overcome the feeling of loneliness. Because all this is above all virtual . In fact, by investing a lot of time in online relationships, your real life can suffer.
The internet creates the illusion of being connected to many people, while remaining separate from others in real life. It can increase your social isolation , which makes you feel even more lonely. Technology connects us to each other despite the distance, but ultimately distances us from our loved ones; and especially social networks cannot replace the real, real, authentic moments shared in real life.
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I feel lonely: 6 other things to do to stop feeling lonely
After having understood how to apprehend and tame your loneliness, by understanding it, by living a beneficial loneliness , here are concrete examples of things to do to maintain or recreate the link and get out of your comfort zone.
# 7 call friends
It sounds silly and yet when was the last time you called your best friend ? A childhood friend ? When did you take the time to talk to each other at length, to really discuss? So yes, you exchange on the networks with clicks, “likes”, hearts and comments. Or you exchange text messages and voice messages on instant messengers. But take the time to really talk to each other live, failing to see each other over a drink if this is not possible often, when? So grab your phone and call. After an hour or an evening of talking with your best friend on the phone, you will feel a lot less lonely!
# 8 check in with your family
Ditto with your family! Don’t just text once in a while to check in on your parents, grandparents, siblings until the next family reunion. Devote a real privileged moment on a weekday evening or on weekends to talk with your mom, to check in on your grandmother, to chat with your brother who lives 500 kilometers away… It doesn’t matter, take the time for them. Not only will you feel less alone by reconnecting to your roots, but it will also save you a lot of regrets, too late.
# 9 Suggest an outing with friends
No longer be a spectator of your life, waiting for others to act, decide for you. Take initiatives and offer an evening with friends, an outing, a restaurant, a drink, a girls’ night, a movie, a walk, a sporting activity … There is no need to have dozens of friends for that, take advantage of the people who are there for you to share special moments. You will then return home reboosted, proud to have issued an invitation and happy to have shared a true moment of friendship. Stop being afraid of disturbing, stop waiting, send out your invitation now!
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# 10 I feel lonely: Volunteering so I don’t feel lonely anymore
When you feel alone, confronting the reality of the suffering of others helps to relativize and recreate social ties by giving meaning to your life. Yes you suffer from loneliness, we do not deny it, but it is up to you not to isolate yourself and to reach out to others. Find a cause that touches you, that you want to give your time and energy to. Homeless people, abandoned animals, hospitalized children, clothing or food drives, reading to the elderly, French or literacy lessons, cleaning up beaches or forests… There is no shortage of possibilities. Volunteering is a great way to stop feeling lonely and create a new social circle for yourself.
# 11 adopt a pet
If your loneliness is difficult to bear at home on a daily basis, the solution may be simple but it will bring you a lot. And there is nothing pathetic, on the contrary! Adopting a pet will allow you to have daily companionship, to worry about someone else, so you no longer focus on your problems. And cuddling a kitten on his sofa in front of a movie or going for a walk with his dog on Sunday morning, it’s nice. So, dog or cat, hamster or guinea pig, turtle or goldfish to start… It’s up to you. And then you will have to go buy him food, take him to the vet or take him for a walk depending on the animal chosen, which will make you go out, meet people and therefore feel less alone!
# 12 Going on a trip: one of the incredible things to do to stop feeling lonely!
It’s a bit of an extreme step to get out of your comfort zone, but it has the merit of being effective from the start! Go on a trip, whether it’s for a weekend to start or for a real vacation. There are more and more formulas for single people, for singles, for single parents… Choose what suits you, idleness, sporting, cultural holidays. Go on a cruise, on a campsite, in a vacation club abroad. In short, get out of your comfort zone to meet others, there is no doubt that you will meet incredible people if you open up a little to others. Exit your feeling of loneliness.