Emotional blockage: How to free yourself from it?
How emotional blocking works
The causes of an emotional blockage can be varied, but it’s often related to emotional shock or even past trauma. The blockage is the result of an unexpressed emotion .
In fact, the subconscious has kept in its memory a strong unpleasant emotion that has taken place at some point in your life. For example, during a family meal you had the impression of having been badly rejected by a loved one, and since then you are always afraid of being rejected by everyone around you. This is because your brain makes a connection between what is happening today and the past event that caused the emotional shock.
This is why emotional blockages can make you sabotage new relationships, for example; your brain anticipates the suffering that might arise again, so it tries to protect you.
How this can cause problems in your life
Emotional blockages create negative , and sometimes demeaning, thoughts in you. And if you don’t take a step back from these, you might consider that they are telling the truth. For example: “I’m not worth anything”, “I’m not good”, “I can’t do it”, “you always end up leaving me” etc. There is a decline in self-esteem and self-confidence.
An emotional blockage can also cause the person to withdraw into himself , to be constantly on the defensive, to react aggressively with those around him. For example, your partner surprises you by taking you to see your father playing saxophone at a concert, but he doesn’t know that you haven’t been on good terms since the last concert your father didn’t come to see you play. You risk resenting your partner because he has awakened strong emotions in you, without wanting it.
Sometimes an emotion has been so strong, or strong emotions have accumulated, so that the person is closed to any emotion. Nothing touches her anymore. It feels like she’s become numb, and sometimes she even forgot about the traumatic event in question.
Emotional blockage causes us to act differently, out of fear, or to prevent a situation from repeating itself. So it prevents us from moving forward as we would like, and forces us to stay in our comfort zone.
You have to understand that the obstacles that you imagine are in fact within yourself, and not outside yourself. It is as if we had created our own prison. We can not act for fear of the gaze of others, fear of suffering, fear of taking risks, of failing etc.
Phobias are also emotional blockages. These are irrational fears that got stuck in the unconscious.
There can also be physical consequences, which come back regularly or when an uncomfortable situation arises: muscle tension, stomach lump, difficulty in breathing, racing heart, etc. An emotional blockage can sometimes cause an anxiety attack : it occurs when a trauma has left marks that the person is unaware of, and the body has no choice but to send violent signals, so that the emotion can finally come out.
How to break free from an emotional blockage?
Become aware of it
Just knowing that you have an emotional block is a big step. This allows you to be able to practice taking a step back from what you are feeling, and from your thoughts.
You can decide to come out of this blocked state in consciousness. You can also think about the cause of this blockage to help you transform it: is there a past event that could relate to how you feel today?
Accept the emotional block as a part of you
It should be understood that the blockage was created because the initial emotion could not be fully expressed. The next step is to come to terms with having an emotional block, as part of yourself and your past.
Accept what you’ve been through, even if it’s painful and unfair. You cannot go back. You can only control how you feel today, and what you do with your past.
All of this does not have to influence who you have become, because you can decide to break free and act differently.
Expressing your emotions instead of repressing them
To free yourself from your blockages, you have to get your emotions out. Originally these have the role of protecting you. But when they get stuck in the subconscious, they can take control of your actions.
So if fear or anxiety arises, accept the emotion instead of pushing it back and thinking about something else. Conversely, feel it to the end. It’s not easy when you’re not used to it, but with training it becomes more and more natural. It is unpleasant at the time, but you will find that the emotion will eventually subside on its own, when your brain realizes that there is finally no danger.
Get in the habit of listening to your body. He knows what is good for you.
Transform your thoughts
We saw above that emotional blockages generate negative or demeaning thoughts in you. I invite you to take a step back with these: they do not tell you the truth, because they are the fruit of your repressed emotions.
Learn to think positively , to value yourself again, to gain self-confidence.
A good exercise to do is list the positive things you can take from your past romantic relationships . Surely you have learned things from these people, you have grown up through these relationships. You now know more about what you want and what you don’t want in your relationship. You know each other better.
Also, when you are afraid, always ask yourself this question: What is the worst that can happen?
For example, you are afraid of failing the next time you speak. Imagine the worst that could happen: your performance is not a great success, you stutter, you sweat, you are asked questions that you cannot answer. It’s not that bad! Anyone can make mistakes, and we are imperfect beings. So you don’t have to put too much pressure on yourself.
Daring to step out of your comfort zone
Finally, if you want to free yourself from your blockages, at some point you will have to go into the unknown. So dare to take risks and face your fears.
For example, you can repeat to yourself several times before you start that you can do it, that you are stronger than you think, that you are capable of a lot of things.
Step out of your comfort zone, at your own pace. Set yourself up for small challenges. You will see that your fears do not necessarily have to be, that in the end everything is going well.
Conclusion: how to break free from an emotional blockage
Breaking free from an emotional block is not an easy exercise, and change doesn’t happen overnight. Indeed, as the blockage is well anchored in the unconscious, liberation requires time and indulgence towards oneself. But you can really change your life by reconnecting with your emotions.
To help you, you can do meditation, self-hypnosis, breathing exercises, and if necessary have a professional accompany you.