Blemmophobia or fear of the gaze of others: how to get rid of it?
Blemmophobia is one of the social phobias . It is defined as an irrepressible fear of the gaze of others . It should not be likened to a simple form of shyness. This psychological disorder is the mark of a huge lack of self-confidence.
Indeed, a blemmophobe tends to compare himself to others, which leads to a significant drop in self-esteem , and a devaluation of his qualities and abilities.
Where does blemmophobia come from?
It seems that this fear of the gaze of others has three main sources:
1) Lack of self-confidence
We keep asking ourselves what other people think of us, if they like us or pretend , etc. To be appreciated, we then let others make the decisions for us.
2) Difficulty accepting criticism
No one likes to be criticized, but blemmophobic people do everything to avoid it and prefer to be in front of their own conscience rather than the opinion of others.
3) Want to please everyone
It often happens that we want to please as many people as possible without listening to their real desires and making their own choices.
Signs of blemmophobia
The panicking fear of the gaze of others responds to anxiety attack signs such as:
- of palpitations , the sweating , the pain thoracic, or even earthquakes .
- with a dry mouth and a tight throat , just at the thought of speaking in public and even passing out and passing out .
- a discreet attitude to avoid being noticed.
- in severe blemmophobia, sufferers even try to prepare in advance what to say and what behavior to adopt so as not to appear ridiculous to others.
How to face the gaze of others?
Concretely, facing the gaze of others can be done through simple daily exercises, but we must learn to pay attention to situations in which we try to please others to defuse this behavior.
1) Learn to say no
To say no is to learn to assert yourself and to feel freer. Conflict is not necessarily something negative. It is normal to encounter disagreements and to experience strong emotions such as anger.
2) Differentiate between criticism and judgment
Sort out what others say between constructive criticism and judgments. We must not take everything wrong.
3) Pleasing everyone is impossible
By living according to the eyes of others, we put our needs in the background. We have to make our own choices.
4) Realize that you are not the center of attention
By living according to the gaze of others, we end up paying attention only to that, but the world doesn’t revolve around us, and most people don’t care what we can do.
5) Not wanting to please everyone is to avoid toxic people
Toxic individuals , like narcissistic perverts , cling to a person’s slightest weakness to manipulate it. These individuals constantly belittle and criticize the person over whom they have control, hence the importance of not giving them a hold to cling to.
6) No longer be afraid of displeasing or disappointing
We must learn to overcome this fear of displeasing when necessary. We all have personalities with flaws and we all make mistakes.
7) stop devaluing yourself
Stopping nurturing this feeling of inferiority is necessary to do this work of rebuilding self-confidence, in order to give yourself as much importance as others.
8) Be yourself above all
This is the whole difficulty of blemmophobes but it is the goal to be reached in order to get rid of them. Indeed, we must stop living only in fear of the gaze and judgment of the other. In order to be able to live fully, you have to become fully yourself.
The different treatments for phobia
In order to successfully fight blemmophobia, it is a good idea to treat it as soon as the first symptoms appear.
- The ideal is to perform a cognitive-behavioral therapy E or NLP that will help the patient to gradually confront his fears and anxieties to achieve better control.
- Gentle and natural therapies such as Bach flowers or self-hypnosis.
- Psychological help to regain self-confidence, no longer being afraid of displeasing or disappointing.
The body being at the center of the problem of this phobia, which allows a better relationship with the body will help to accept the gaze of others such as:
- Reconcile with your body and the image you have of it through creative visualization exercises , and in particular EFT .
- Go to the swimming pool or take a swim in the sea when confidence is more anchored. Water is the ideal natural element for feeling your body, accepting it, letting go and enjoying a bubble where the gaze of others no longer counts.
- Do sessions with a coach specializing in image, makeover, personal development, depending on the most important blockage.
- Engage in an activity that helps accept the gaze of others and promotes bodily expression in contact with or under the gaze of others, such as dancing or acting.