True love story: I was saved from a forced marriage
Say it with a letter
There are things we would like to say to those we love. But we do not always know where to start, how to find the right ones, to convey the right intention. Today, we help you get started and send the most beautiful letter:
There are millions of love stories and they are all unique. Sometimes some of them can only exist at the cost of a fierce struggle, so that love can triumph. This is the case with Nadia and Antoine. They met during their studies. It is thanks to Antoine and to the strength of his love for her, to his self-confidence, that Nadia was saved from the worst, from a forced marriage and that she was able to regain hope. Here is their story, her true love story: I was saved from a forced marriage.
True love story: I was saved from a forced marriage
“I hesitated before telling my story because I didn’t want to fall into certain clichés . And then I decided to see her differently. This is what I did, because in the end what must be remembered is the happiness that it brought me afterwards and the magnificent love story that I have been living for fifteen years now with my savior, my husband, the man of my life.
Because if it all started with a painful story, if everything could have ended badly, I know that the important thing is what happened and not what unfortunately could have happened.
Have I been lucky? A lucky star? My wish heard or my prayer answered? Is it fate? Or the obvious meeting of two soul mates against which nothing and no one could oppose?
I like to believe in that last assumption and that’s how I feel it. Life sent me the one made for me, the one who was going to truly love me for the woman that I am. The man I fell head over heels for. And who fought for me, for us, for our love.
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I was saved from a forced marriage by the one who became my husband
So fifteen years ago, I finished my studies to become a teacher. Coming from a family of Algerian immigrants, I was born in France and have always lived there. Nevertheless, we returned to the country every year as my father used to say, and often had family visits at home. I feel totally French and my attachment to my culture of origin is above all made of respect for traditions, folklore, tenderness due to memories of my childhood with my grandmother.
I did not think that respecting the traditions according to my father and the rest of the men in my family was going to spell the end of my free will and my freedom as a woman. Of my right to love whoever I wanted.
In fact, my father accepted a certain modernity of life, but he did not envisage it for marriage. For him, this union should remain the business of fathers, of men, of the community.
As I entered my final year of school, a weekend where we were eating as a family, my father had a clear speech on this subject. He had everything sorted out for me. I did not understand.
Settled what? My wedding…
My father, whom I loved from the bottom of my heart, whom I respected, whom I thought modern in terms of women, decided my life for me. I thought he loved me with my freedom, that he was proud of me, that he trusted me in my choices… But in fact, my freedom was only partial, subject to certain obligations. In the name of tradition, culture, religion, family. For him it was normal to act like this. He had given me a good education, he had let me get the decent education I wanted, now it was time for me to fulfill my end of the bargain. That I get married. According to his will. Everything was settled.
Arranged marriage, forced marriage …
So it could happen to me, in my own family, to know what I thought was something old-fashioned, which no longer existed, at least not in France? I was seriously wrong …
I was due to meet my future husband on the next vacation, he was a distant cousin by marriage and the wedding would take place just before my graduation. The only certainty according to my father? I will be able to teach, my diploma would not be in vain.
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I fell into depression before I was saved from a forced marriage
From that day forward, I became a real zombie. I no longer ate, I no longer slept, my current attention was catastrophic, my friends no longer recognized me . I had tried in vain to talk to my father, to make him flex, then to my mother. Nothing had worked. I let myself sink into a sort of permanent coma, without realizing it I sank into depression.
What should I do? To sell ? To marry a man I didn’t know, for a life I didn’t want? To flee ? But where to go?
And then… There was this student whom I liked very much. Antoine . We had become friends, sharing lessons and revisions, coffees and quick sandwiches with other students. I found him handsome, funny, intelligent, caring, respectful. He had that little something that didn’t leave me indifferent. There was that little spark between us that made me think that something strong was going on between us .
But all this took a back seat after my father’s announcement. It’s like a countdown that has started. I had become a prisoner of my own life. I saw no way out.
No longer eating, no longer sleeping, I no longer had the strength to attend my classes. I was losing ground day after day, more and more isolated. I was too ashamed to tell anyone about what was happening to me.
I was on the verge of committing the irreparable, I was seriously thinking about suicide, I admit, seeing no other way out. I was desperate.
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Love saved me from a forced marriage
In my misfortune, I had underestimated my friends. Their friendship has been of great help to me. And especially that of Antoine. No longer seeing me in class, worried, he came to inquire about me. And in fact, he literally saved me.
He didn’t judge me, he listened to me with respect and helped me see things more clearly. To tell myself that I shouldn’t do anything stupid, that there is always a solution. He came back to see me every day, we talked for a long time, he managed to get me back on my feet. I went back to take my classes so as not to miss my diploma, he accompanied me to a doctor, advised me on so many things.
Over the days, a great bond has developed between us. We shared my secret that I dragged along as a shame, but not only. He became indispensable to me, he managed to make me laugh, I missed him when he was not there.
I knew I no longer saw him as just a friend, but I didn’t want him to think my attachment to him was interested, contextual. It was much stronger than that. He was not my lifeline, my spare tire. No, he was the man I liked, the one I was falling in love with. Thanks to him, I regained hope, and I told myself that perhaps the future would be possible together. I didn’t have to ask myself questions for long. He admitted his feelings to me naturally, just telling me that if he hadn’t done anything until then, it was because he didn’t want to disturb me any more or rush anything given the situation.
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I no longer had any doubts, he was the man of my life, my evidence, the one who embodied love.
But the basic problem remained to be resolved: this forced marriage by my father. Antoine loved me, there were two of us, so would I be strong enough to say no to this marriage they wanted to impose on me? Did I have the right to do this to Antoine? Rather creepy as the beginning of a love story …
Once again, he assured me of his presence, his support, his love. Yes, he would be by my side, yes he loved me, yes we were two, together, united. I shouldn’t be afraid, he would always be there, those are his words.
I faced my father by refusing this forced marriage
Strengthened by our love, it gave me the courage to go talk to my father. I managed to be firm, despite my fear and pain. And my sadness … To oppose him, to know that he was rejecting the path I was taking, that we were in total opposition, losing each other, maybe forever, was very painful.
But knowing that my happiness came after its “traditions”, discovering the true face of my father, all this was even more painful.
Faced with his stubbornness, anger took the place of sadness and disappointment. I had done nothing wrong, nothing to blame myself and I had the right to be happy, quite simply. In love with the man I wanted, married to the man I will choose. My happiness did not take anything away from his, from that of others, from my family.
We didn’t see it the same way, and that spelled the end of our father-daughter relationship for a time. By choosing my happiness, by refusing this marriage, by choosing another man, I was excluding myself from my family. It was very difficult to live with, but Antoine was always there. I had found so much love by his side that it made things bearable.
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And I no longer felt guilty about being happy.
I took control of my life, got my diploma and my first job. We moved in together with Antoine once our assignments were validated.
Life with him was beautiful, simple, sweet . We built our happiness over the weeks, months and years that followed. We celebrated our wedding, an intimate wedding in our image with his family and our close friends. My sister came; but not the rest of my family.
When I got pregnant, two years later, with our first daughter, my mother also decided to defy the ban and accept us totally. Little by little, my family entered my new life as a married woman and mother. It was strange but Antoine never blamed them, and we decided not to harbor unnecessary resentments because of the past.
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What mattered to us was to build our future.
Somehow, the problem with my father and my estrangement from my family took a back seat. I was building my own family and I had found my alter ego in Antoine. This evidence has never wavered for all these years. I had found a balance of life, love and happiness by his side.
I still can’t explain the certainty that he was the man of my life.
I was incredibly lucky to meet my husband, this man is a treasure trove of kindness. We went through the trials together and I never doubted him, us, our strength, our union.
Today we have two children. I reconnected with my family, they are part of my life again. So is my dad , although I know something between us is forever broken. Confidence will not be the same, but I accept it. He no longer has any power over my happiness and my life. Everyone knows where they belong and things are done with respect and with a certain distance . It was important to me that my children know their maternal family like their daddy’s family. Their daddy, this hero, my hero.
He saved me literally fifteen years ago. Thanks to him I am a fulfilled woman, a happy wife and a fulfilled mother. ”