Rediscovering a youthful love 30 years later: Testimony
Say it with a letter
There are things we would like to say to those we love. But we do not always know where to start, how to find the right ones, to convey the right intention. Today, we help you get started and send the most beautiful letter:
Who has never thought back, with nostalgia or with tenderness, of his youthful love? His first love , the one with whom we experienced one of his first romantic emotions? The years go by and become decades, we get older and we put this past love in our memory box. And then one fine day, sometimes 30 years later, we open the box and wonder what has become of this person who made our teenage hearts beat? Then comes the desire to find her, to confront her memories with reality. To rediscover a youthful love 30 years later, it is also to set out again in the footsteps of oneself. Here is a testimony, that of Valérie, 45, who has found her teenage love.
Rediscovering a youthful love 30 years later: Testimony of Valérie
“My name is Valérie, I am 45 years old and I am a doctor in the Paris region. I love my job, on the other hand I am not attached to my place of life. But after my studies in Paris, I met the man who was to become my husband, and our professional lives led us to settle near the capital. With our two children, it’s a life that suits us, well that suited me until then. Because I must admit that for some time now, desires for elsewhere and the need to breathe the fresh air have started to ask me questions. Like an inexorable attraction to another way of life that is gradually emerging …
All this brought back memories of my youth, happy moments with my family, snippets of my adolescence.
For years, every year, for the summer and for Christmas or the winter holidays, we would go as a family to the Alps, to my great-grandfather’s chalet.
It was there that I learned to ski, that I tasted hiking, that I enjoyed spending time in contact with nature, in wide open spaces.
It was also there that the summer of my 15th birthday, I met Alban. It seems to me to belong to another life today. We ended up on the ski slopes, he very experienced. The mountain had been his life since he was little, he was at home.
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We fell in love as we like at 15 years old, with ardor and in the urgency of these holidays which passed too quickly.
Alban is my childhood sweetheart. We spent three winter and two summer seasons together. We saw each other on vacation and we wrote to each other. It lasted from my 15 to 17 years old. And then unfortunately we stopped going there. A family quarrel, a conflict of inheritance, in short the chalet could no longer accommodate us.
My vacation and youthful love was shattered and my heart was in tatters.
But what weight does it have at 17 compared to parents?
Then, the letters grew apart until they stopped, me caught up in my studies at the faculty of medicine in Paris, he in his ski and mountaineering school. Two lives at the antipodes, we each had our lives to build, our dreams to realize.
Read also: Why do you want to find your first love?
And life has taken its course, and 30 years have passed …
One evening, late, a few months ago, when I was alone at home, I went to pull out my memory box. The one in which I kept everything from my young years. The postcards, the letters, the little words, the photos… And among all, the words of Alban . I had his name, his address, a starting point if I wanted to know what was happening to him.
Let’s not lie to ourselves, the Internet is one way to get quick answers today. And with social networks, it is easy to find leads. If the address I had no longer seemed to be the correct one, his last name still appeared in the area. Curious, I searched, and I found him via a Facebook page and a site. He had become a high mountain guide, the dream of his life… A photo of him appeared in front of me. If 30 years separated her from my last memories, there was something in her gaze that did not fool my memory.
Find a love of youth 30 years later
I thought about my desire to know more for a few days.
Curiosity and nostalgia mingled but I did not want to make this approach an unhealthy secret in my relationship.
I told my husband about it. My desire to recontact Alban was not linked to a relationship problem, rather to this increasingly strong need to, perhaps, change my life …
My husband, to whom I had spoken to when I was young, was not shocked or jealous. If the past sometimes comes back to haunt us, it is not necessarily to unearth buried problems. I wanted to believe my intuition, to tell myself that there was a nice surprise at the end.
A reply arrived ten days later in the mail. Alban remembered me, us, he was touched by my approach, benevolent towards our shared memories and curious to know who I had become. He confessed to me that he also looked for me years earlier but gave it up, finding nothing. It is true that I am not very present on social networks and that I am found, especially as a doctor, under my married name. For his part, he was also married, father of 3 children and happy to make a living from his passion.
An epistolary exchange began, but very quickly our adolescent memories gave way to confidences about our professional lives, our projects, our desires.
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I felt like I was making a friend, that I had an attentive ear to my growing desire to change my life.
Obviously, by contacting him again, I had asked myself the question of ambiguity. After all, we had been in love 30 years earlier. But that is not the tone of our exchange.
Find a love of youth 30 years later: ambiguity, necessarily?
No ambiguity, unfulfilled desire, emotional infidelity. None of this, on the contrary.
It may seem strange, but on the contrary, it is as if Alban was going to give me answers and open doors for me that I dared not push on my own.
While in Paris, he offered to meet. At no time were my husband or his wife put aside. His reunion sounded like those of two childhood friends, around a dinner for four, who introduced each other to their spouses.
And that’s how it all started. Diving into the reality of our current lives accelerated the process. We really became friends over time. And the following holidays, I reconnected with my memories by going with my family there, in the mountains of Alban.
I had the click. After 30 years of Parisian life, of professional practice in the city, I wanted something else. Of nature, calm, proximity, a second wind.
Alban was the one who brought this hidden dream to light. Who made me understand that it was possible. Without taking a place that was not his, neither in my heart nor in my life.
There was never anything unhealthy about our reunion. Often, we search for an old love with this deep desire to know if our heart will beat again on contact with it. If something persists, it’s normal.
Between Alban and me, this connection was made on another level. That of friendship, without hidden desire for one or the other, without ambiguity.
Today, we are building our project with my husband. My dream of going to live there has become a project for a couple and a family. I am a happy woman, still in love with my husband and delighted to see how well we understand each other.
This second wind that I was looking for was shared, my husband also wanted a new start, a new challenge, to give a new rhythm to our life.
On site, Alban and his wife guide us from afar, they advise us when necessary. We won’t be neighbors for all that, but close enough to see each other. This special friendship that was born between the four of us will be one of our anchors once we settle there, and I am very happy about it.
Next year, I will be a country doctor, or rather a mountain doctor, and that fills me with joy. By following my intuition, by rediscovering my youthful love, it is in fact me, the real Valérie, that I have found. “