We love each other but we can’t be together: testimony
How to find the bond of the beginnings in his marriage?
Over time, the couple’s relationship changes. We move away, we communicate less, we argue. Yet we still love each other … So how do you get your relationship back on track and rediscover the bond and laughter that made us fall in love?
It seems that love allows everything, that thanks to it we can move mountains, face everything. Some would even say that love always triumphs. But is it still enough? If loving is one of the most beautiful things in the world, the feeling of love does not systematically offer the assurance of happiness shared by two. Sometimes, no matter how much we love each other, life separates us. There can be many reasons why a love cannot live and flourish in the open. A secret love, a forbidden love, a difference in age, culture, religion, too great a distance, a strong incompatibility of characters, different life projects … So many reasons that prevent love from winning each time . We love each other but we cannot be together, here is Manon’s testimony which explains that despite the love shared with David,
We love each other but we can’t be together: Manon’s testimony
“David and I should never have happened. We shouldn’t have met. Not from the same region, not from the same social background, not necessarily the same culture and the same education and not from the same generation. It was a lot of “steps” from the start. Nothing seemed to be able to connect us, reunite us or attract us to each other, to each other, and yet it did.
Life sometimes likes to play tricks on us, to shake our certainties, our bearings, to open our minds to other horizons. And towards the encounters that go with it. Or rather the meeting .
But as the saying goes and even if it sounds horribly cliché, it is clear that “the heart has its reasons that reason ignores. “
It hit us and I don’t think he or I got it. We knew it would be complicated , maybe doomed to fail from the start, but it’s as if an invisible force is pulling us hopelessly towards each other like an invisible red thread that will tie us together anyway.
Maybe it was love at first sight after all, one of those flames that feed on physical attraction and quickly die out? Or maybe it would be a simple game of seduction that barely resulted in a flirtation? A few little kisses and then go …
I think we fell into the trap of feelings , love took us by surprise. I’m talking about a trap because we thought we could control what was going on, but we were wrong. Our lives had decided to come together for a time, our bodies to recognize each other and our hearts to move. In the game of love, we had lost before we even knew we were in love.
This relationship that should not have existed or be without consequences has taken on proportions that neither David nor I had imagined.
We fell in love. We love each other and we don’t know what to do with this love. We love each other but we can’t be together …
I thought that when love came, it was obvious and that then everything was easier and more beautiful. Big mistake. In our case, our feelings only complicated everything, taking us into torments that we do not know how to manage. Because we had absolutely nothing anticipated, imagined, or even sought.
Sometimes I tell myself that if we had stayed at the beginnings of this story, everything would be much simpler today. But the next second I hate myself for thinking that way because the love I have for David, even though I cannot feel it and live it fully, is a gift from the heart and from existence.
We are 20 years apart. He’s a country man, I’m a city woman. He is a father who no longer considers himself a dad, I am not yet a mother and I want to become one. He is rooted in a region that he has never left, I come from a family, a culture, a generation perhaps also, which needs to travel to discover, to relax, to be me- same. I like life at a hundred miles an hour, the world, the noise, the nightlife, he likes the peace and quiet after a hard day’s work.
The probability of meeting us was slim , that of pleasing us almost zero . On paper, apparently impossible. And yet we love each other but we can’t be together …
It was in his stud that I met him. Me, the young woman from the city who came to spend a week of vacation. We have a common passion: horses. But for him, it’s more than that, it’s his job, his vocation, his universe. Me it was more distant, more diffuse, it is only part of my life.
We loved each other by the looks, the smiles, the words and the gestures. Then by our bodies with our hugs and our caresses. It could have been just vacation love , the script for a pretty romantic comedy, and then nothing else. A question of desire, pleasure and goodbye.
But when our confidences and our sensibilities got involved, we lost the carelessness of this relationship for the torments of love.
We love each other but we can’t be together. My life is not there, his is not here.
Maybe we don’t love each other strong enough in the end, for one of us to leave our existence and join that of the other . Yet we miss each other, we think of each other, we saw each other again. And not just to drown in the pleasure. It is not just a matter of the body, our hearts are indeed concerned.
But I don’t know if all this is doing me more good than bad or the other way around. I do not know anymore. To see him again is a joy , to leave him a heartbreak . But at the same time, a relief to get my life back. The more time goes by, the more I tell myself that our meeting did not take place at the right time, that we loved each other too early or too late, that it is all about poor synchronization .
We are not a couple, and we probably never will be.
Too many obstacles stand in our way, too many differences prevent us from projecting ourselves serenely. Perhaps time will do its work, pulling our hearts apart. Or life will bring each of us a person more inclined to share our lives. I do not know. What I do know is that we cannot be together because we are aware that it would make us unhappy or incomplete . But at the same time, we suffer from not forming a couple.
I don’t know what will end our story. Or what, on the contrary, will allow it to emerge in broad daylight. But I realize that I cannot nurture a hope, no matter how small, deep inside me, indefinitely.
It’s strange, love. Why does our heart open to another if it is not to beat in unison?”