The fear of losing the other in love
How to find the bond of the beginnings in his marriage?
Over time, the couple’s relationship changes. We move away, we communicate less, we argue. Yet we still love each other … So how do you get your relationship back on track and rediscover the bond and laughter that made us fall in love?
Some will say that loving is already taking a risk. The risk of losing the person you love so much, the one you have chosen to share your life and project yourself into the future. Is it too radical to think so, or is it justified? It’s human to be afraid, the fear of losing the other in love. Nothing is ever acquired in life, and especially not in love. In romantic relationships, we are afraid that the other will stop loving us or that he will start to love another! The difficulty is to manage to love in spite of this fear, to be in a relationship in spite of herself, and without this being unlivable on a daily basis. The fear of losing the other in love should not condition your vision of love or take up all the space if you are in a relationship. We must succeed in balancing things so that this fear does not ruin our life. Where does this fear of losing the other come from? Why are we afraid? How to manage it and live with it? And can we get rid of it? So many questions on this subject that one can ask oneself and of which here are some elements of answer.
Where does this fear of losing the other in love come from?
Like many other fears, this kind of fear often stems from childhood . It is associated with the fear of abandonment or rejection . And also the belief that we are not good enough to be loved, a lack of self-confidence, self- esteem, a problem of self-esteem. People who have a near-panic fear of losing a loved one are often those who have developed a strong sense of inferiority or complex .
A fear born in childhood
If as a child you experienced the separation of your parents or the early loss of a loved one , it is very likely that you developed this fear of abandonment. It is legitimate and this is explained by an emotional deprivation, a traumatic injury, a lack of love which has created over time a fear of losing the people we love or of not being loved. It is a fear that only asks to reappear when you feel that the risk may arise, that your partner is putting a little distance between you.
A lack of self-confidence
It often stems from poor self-esteem . You have never been valued, you have never felt completely confident or truly loved, so you doubt the love your partner has for you. You even think you don’t really deserve it so you think you can lose it every moment.
So we come back to this possible inferiority complex that stems from this lack of self-confidence. You think the other is too good for you, so it makes sense to be afraid of losing them and having a hard time reasoning with yourself.
A risk of emotional dependence
Being in a relationship while nourishing this fear of losing the other obviously does not allow you to build a healthy and balanced relationship over the long term. By force, the couple undergoes this fear and suffers from a fear which can harm the couple . How? ‘Or’ What ? Often, the partner who lives with this fear develops a form of emotional dependence on the other. And from the fear of losing the other, we can end up with possessiveness or even unhealthy jealousy . Hence the interest in not letting this fear take all the place.
You will understand, to live your love story well, you must learn to control this fear of losing the other. And to control it, you have to know where it comes from . Of course, this list is not exhaustive, but these few reasons mostly explain your fear of losing the other. Once the reasons have been identified, you can now try to control this fear with some advice.
How to control this fear of losing the other in love?
One of the first things you need to do to control this fear, and indeed all fears, is to face it . It will be essential for you to get there so that your current relationship if you are in a relationship, or the next one, is healthier, more balanced and therefore more serene. Know that living in fear will not allow you to fully live your relationship.
Confront your fear
You can start by talking to people you trust like a family member or your best friend who can help you see things more clearly. The main thing is to feel confident with this person. The point is for you to let go of that fear inside you that is flooding you with all kinds of negative emotions and limiting beliefs that are ruining your life.
If you do not want or cannot open up to your loved ones, you can consult a professional , a psychologist , a therapist , who will help and guide you. Know that the people in whom you confide will be benevolent and there to help and support you in your process. It is their role, no judgment is to be feared.
Relativize your fear
After having faced it, you must learn to put your fear into perspective . When a fear takes all the place, we no longer manage to take a step back on our emotions and our way of seeing things. However, it is essential to learn to tame them or to get rid of them.
If you’re in a relationship, imagining your life without your partner can help put things in perspective. It might sound strange, but it makes sense when you think about it. And it can be a click. The goal ? Understand and admit that even if you separate from your partner, your life will not end there. Obviously you will suffer but life will go on regardless. The lesson to be learned from this is to tell yourself that your life is yours. Even if the absence of the other will create a void, you will relearn to see yourself as a whole person and to give your life a direction, the right one, without this fear that rules you.
Help for personal development
Whether you are single or in a relationship, personal development is an effective way to help you overcome this fear of losing another. Remember that at the heart of this fear, it is your lack of self-confidence that feeds it. And personal development is the solution to gain self-confidence, regain self-esteem and love yourself. Through readings, exercises, positive affirmations , meditation , personal development will help you overcome your fears and limiting beliefs.
How to heal from this fear of losing the other in love?
Thanks to these different tips, you will be able to relativize your fear and rationalize it . And thus initiate personal work to learn how to, little by little, get rid of it. Or in any case, no longer let her take control of your life and direct your romantic relationships.
In fact, you are no longer a child with this feeling of helplessness that you can feel when you are very young. Now you have the power to take charge of your life. You will therefore learn to relativize.
Trust, the key element
For example, in a relationship, you will be able to tell yourself that if your partner moves away a bit or is a little less receptive to your requests, it is because he is perhaps simply tired or worried because of his problem. job. The best way is to communicate and talk about it calmly. It is almost certain that he will be touched to see you worried and that he will take the time to reassure you.
If your relationship is emerging or about to be formed, working on yourself right away will allow you to embark on a balanced relationship. And it is obvious that to cure this fear of losing the other in love, you have to nourish your self-esteem and put confidence at all levels at the center of your current or future relationship.