My parents don’t want me to get back together with my ex: what to do?
How to find the bond of the beginnings in his marriage?
Over time, the couple’s relationship changes. We move away, we communicate less, we argue. Yet we still love each other … So how do you get your relationship back on track and rediscover the bond and laughter that made us fall in love?
Your mother has been clear: he is not allowed to set foot at home again. Your father, for his part, dreams of having him face to face to tell him everything he thinks of him. In short, your parents don’t want you to get back together with your ex. So you see it in secret, and don’t dare to formalize the relationship.
So it’s okay to be afraid of disappointing them, afraid of being judged and rejected by the people who matter most to you. It is also normal to fear that your relationship will not work again, and that they will tell you “you see, we told you! “
Because you surely want your parents to be proud of you, to support you in your decisions.
My parents don’t want me to get back with my ex: here is the attitude to adopt to make things go as well as possible.
Put yourself in their shoes to understand them
Try to put yourself in your parents’ shoes for a moment, to understand their reluctance. They have their reasons (good or not) for not wanting your ex in your life: infidelity , violence, unexpected break-up etc.
Know that their goal is most certainly to protect you above all.
Indeed, it is difficult for a parent to see his child in pain, so the parent tends to want to remove the source of the suffering in all possible ways.
Also, it is known that “love makes you blind”.
So they surely think that only feelings make you stay with that person, because they think they see him / her as he / she is: a person harmful to their child.
Finally, keep in mind that your parents have the right to dislike it. It is certainly difficult to be in a relationship with someone who is not loved by our family, but it is not with our parents that we make our life …
Knowing how to communicate in the right way
Come on, we take a deep breath, and we find the courage to tell them the news. You will get there, I believe in you!
It is possible that your parents do not want to receive your ex at home right away, or that they do not want to see him anymore.
This is where you will have to use your talents as a mediator, without losing all your energy to the task. For example there is no point in trying to convince them by telling them that Steve has changed in the past week, because they are unlikely to believe you.
Instead, show them that you know what you’re doing, that you have got your head on your shoulders, and that you know what you want. Show them that they can trust you in the decisions you make for you.
The objective here is not to enter the conflict, but to know how to defend your dear and tender with maturity and firmness.
Tell them that you know that he / she is not perfect, that you are aware of it, and that indeed he / she has made you suffer in the past. However you also know that he is a good person, and you are ready to give him a second chance because you love him deeply. The more calm and honest you are, the better it will go!
Know how to take a step back
It is important that you know how to divide things up about what your parents have against your ex.
It is possible that eventually they will “open your eyes” by helping you to leave a toxic relationship , which does not suit you. But the reverse can also happen: that they distance you from a person who is suitable for you today, even if that person is not perfect and does not correspond to the ideal son-in-law / daughter-in-law.
Your parents don’t have the truth, they don’t know your relationship like you. They don’t know your ex like you know him / her. Then you have no reason to be influenced by their words.
Also, your parents may be judging your ex on their own terms. For example, they can’t stand people who have tattoos because “it looks bad” ; or they have always worked hard in their life, so they don’t understand that your ex might be going through a period of unemployment etc.
Cut the rope
Only you know what is good for you. You might be used to taking daddy’s advice and listening to mom , but then it’s time for you to take responsibility for your own choices, regardless of what your parents think.
Put your ego aside in this story. You know you’re taking a risk by dating your ex again, but if you think the risk is worth it, go for it.
What is the biggest risk in the end: that of upsetting your father, or that of potentially losing the man / woman of your life?
Gradually regain their confidence
Now it’s up to you and your ex to show your parents that this relationship can work on new grounds. It is not with words, but with deeds that one can hope to regain someone’s trust.
And trust is acquired over time, so you have to be patient. Only the time and the small efforts of everyday life can rekindle harmony in the relationship between your parents and your ex.
Finally, if your parents see you happy, fulfilled, there is a good chance that they will lower their guard little by little.
Conclusion: My parents don’t want me to get back together with my ex
Finally, what is most important to you today: to follow the will of your parents or to follow your heart?
See this ordeal as an opportunity to learn to stand on your own feet, take responsibility for your choices as an adult and become fully in control of your life.