My in-laws are too present: what to do?

My in-laws are too present: what to do?

How to find the bond of the beginnings in his marriage?

Over time, the couple’s relationship changes. We move away, we communicate less, we argue. Yet we still love each other … So how do you get your relationship back on track and rediscover the bond and laughter that made us fall in love?

How to live better together?

It can hardly be denied that the subject of “in-laws” often comes up in couple disputes. In-laws too present, intrusive, who give their opinion on everything and especially on what does not concern them! Are you familiar with this? Do you find that your in-laws are too present but you do not know how to broach the subject with your partner for fear of arguing? Here are some tips on how to best manage an intrusive beautiful family. My in-laws are too present: what to do?

My in-laws are too present: what to do?

Ah, the joys of the in-laws, of the mother-in-law, often, who does not love her daughter-in-law who has stolen her son from her. Or the stepfather who finds that his son-in-law is not good enough for his “darling little girl” . Clichés all that? May be ! What is certain is that it is not always rosy between a couple and the in-laws. Sometimes on one side, sometimes on both sides.

What often comes up in problems and conflicts with his in-laws?

Too present to the point of being intrusive , not having cut the cord with their child who is nevertheless an adult, a couple, sometimes even married and a parent in turn. How to manage a in-laws who get involved in everything, who cannot stay in their place? Who has developed bad habits? Like that of showing up unexpectedly, of criticizing your way of life, the education of your children . Or who, on the contrary, adores you, but considers that you must call and see each other every weekend?

It is not easy to keep calm and not find yourself in opposition in your relationship. To avoid tensions between you, and especially not to let yourself be invaded by your in-laws, you should be polite but firm . You have to assert your place in your relationship, especially not to make it a subject of contention in your home.

My in-laws are too present: what to do?

1 / Set limits from the start

We all experienced the first meeting with the in-laws , that of the “official presentation” . At that time, we tend to say yes to everything to make a good impression, even if it means not being too natural. As time goes by, you realize that even being yourself, your in-laws have taken liberties.

It is therefore vital to set the limits, for you and your relationship.

This does not mean either that you should forget your in-laws and put them aside, to the detriment of yours, for example. No, it remains important, it is the family of your spouse, even if the agreement is not perfect. It is therefore essential, even if it is intrusive, to respect it while imposing limits and setting rules. Simple but essential to maintain a good balance between your married life and your family moments. For example, no Sunday lunch every week or unannounced visits. Nor, if you have children, questioning your parental authority.Your in-laws should understand that your couple want or have already created a family of their own and that they should respect your life.

Read also: Happy parents, happy children? The importance of parental happiness

2 / Patience, courtesy and firmness when the in-laws are too present

The subjects of contention can be numerous with the in-laws. Some often come back like the education of children, jealousy to see that their daughter or their son has made his life, your way of living as a couple.

When these issues of disagreement arise, it creates a tense atmosphere and it is sometimes difficult to keep calm. We tend to want to bang our fists on the table. Unfortunately you will not solve anything with anger and nervousness.

Don’t lose your cool.

Try to pour water in your wine and calmly discuss what is bothering you.

There is no question that you organize your life as a couple and family according to their wishes and their rules. It is necessary to politely make them understand that everyone has their own way of seeing things and that you manage your life with your spouse as you see fit. The key is to do things right so as not to conflict with them. Nor therefore with your spouse who will find himself in a delicate position “caught between a rock and a hard place”.

Patience, politeness and courtesy are therefore essential in order not to make matters worse, but that obviously does not prevent a certain dose of firmness. This is how you will be fully respected anyway.

3 / Good communication on this subject within your relationship

This is surely the most important thing to do when the in-laws become a recurring subject of tension. Even though your in-laws can quickly become a subject of disagreement between you, it is vital that you talk about it. It is important not that this becomes a cause of incessant arguments and that it pushes you away.

And in order not to make things worse at the next family reunion, both of you have a chat up front about what’s bothering you . Both of you try to have a constructive conversation, without getting angry and being objective about the “flaws” in the family.

It is essential that you agree together on what is bothering you and what needs to be improved.

Do not hesitate to tell him that this relationship is stifling for you, that if you respect his family you feel that they are too involved in your life together. It is essential to be in agreement on this subject so that your relationship does not suffer. The in-laws can unfortunately become a cause of rupture, so do not neglect the communication within your couple.

4 / Affirm your status as an adult, responsible and independent couple

When we go through the stages of life like getting into a relationship, having a child, the family may tend to want to get involved in everything, to give their opinion on each subject . It starts from a good feeling, they are worried about us, have trouble seeing us grow up, for them we will always remain their “babies”.

However, it is because of this kind of behavior that the in-laws become intrusive.

So it’s up to you to make them understand that you are moving forward in life with your spouse and your children and that even if you make mistakes, this is how you will learn the things in life.

You have to make them understand that of course we always need them, that they remain important to you, that you love them, but that today you are independent and responsible adults who want to take charge and above all live as you hear it.

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