My girlfriend leaves me for another: what to do?
Each love story , just like each breakup, is unique. The time it takes to recover depends on each person and the hurt the separation causes. In the case of a deception or betrayal associated with a breakup, you also have to digest other emotions, other questions.
The questioning is always more important and longer when one is left for someone other than oneself. Beyond the pain linked to the feeling of love, the question of self-confidence is played out . She can be badly banged up in this kind of breakup. So it’s no surprise that it takes a little longer to go up the hill. However, if the relationship was recent and weak, then there is less regret and difficulty in telling yourself that this girl was just the wrong one.
However, as with any breakup suffered, it is necessary to validate certain steps in order to get better and to put an end to your ex. How to do ?
My girlfriend leaves me for another: 10 steps to follow
# 1 Accept the situation
Difficult to take but yet you have no choice. She made hers, she left, accepting this state of affairs is therefore mandatory and the first logical step to be validated. Yes the woman you love or thought you knew and loved has left you for another and your world has just fallen apart. You are heartbroken and in pain, but as difficult as it is at the time, it must be accepted. Do not deny your suffering , you must learn to live with this pain for the time necessary for your heart to heal.
# 2 Confide in your loved ones
Even if you just want to stay under the duvet or slump on your sofa ruminating, this is not the solution. Most importantly, you shouldn’t be ashamed of what is happening to you. In a couple, responsibilities are shared most of the time at the time of the breakup. But when there is deception or separation for someone else, shame and guilt can arise. And you don’t have to. Your best friends and some of your family can be pillars , there to listen and support you. So do not hesitate to confide in yourself, to empty your bag with people in whom you can have total confidence.
# 3 Grieve over your relationship
Mourning your past relationship means accepting to go through certain more or less difficult stages during which painful emotions and memories will arise. Denial, sadness, incomprehension, anger, depression … Healing from a breakup also means accepting the fact that the woman you love was not the one made for you. It’s accepting that you messed up, but also keeping in mind that this relationship existed and that it did you good at some point. But now it is a thing of the past and we have to leave it where it is.
# 4 Don’t compare yourself to the other if my girlfriend leaves me for another
It is undoubtedly one of the most complicated stages because it is a reflex all that there is more human and normal than to compare oneself with the one for which this woman left you. To be left is already a test, but when it is for another man, the suffering is greater, because unconsciously we believe that the other is necessarily better than us. This causes a strong questioning and a crisis of self-confidence. Many doubts are added to the pain of the breakup, old forgotten complexes reappear.
Mistake number 1 is to spy on the profile of the person who took your place with her on social networks, or spy on that of your ex. By doing this, you are going to look for the slightest similarity and the slightest difference at all levels, and thus idealize him while hating her. This is obviously not the right thing to do. Whatever she shares with him today will be different from what you’ve been through together, so the comparison is irrelevant.
# 5 remain a social being
A time of withdrawal may be necessary to receive the news. Moment when you don’t want to go out, to see people, to have fun. This is quite normal but this time should not exceed a few days or weeks otherwise you will sink into depression. As seen above, you must therefore confide in your closest friends but also force yourself to go out and continue your activities. Keeping the mind busy is essential . The action will make you think of something else. Take action step by step, and plan for a minimum. Live in the moment , and life will quickly bring you new opportunities.
My girlfriend leaves me for another: 5 other steps to follow
# 6 Cut the bridges
All of these steps will not be effective if at the same time you do not cut ties with her, with your old life with her. At the very beginning, after a breakup, we can sometimes be tempted to keep in touch or we are curious to know what becomes of the other. And the various social networks are now traps to maintain an unhealthy link or not succeed in cutting bridges. In the case of your break-up, don’t forget that there may have been an infidelity, in any case that she has already made a new life.
What do you gain from remaining immersed in your past, if not sabotaging your self-confidence? Staying friends under such circumstances is unlikely, and in any case you need time and, above all, you need to think about yourself. So delete their number, old messages, social networks and put away or throw away the memories of your old couple.
# 7 Refocus on yourself
Then it’s time to refocus on yourself, think about yourself and your dreams. What were your goals before being with her? It often happens, once in a relationship, to think for two as if you were one and the same person. But we all exist as full individuals. This is why it is important to refocus on yourself and on what you want. You don’t have to be in a relationship to move forward in life. Now, focus on your desires and your unfulfilled life plans . And get started!
# 8 Work on your self-confidence
Such a break up rarely leaves you unharmed and it is normal to feel bad and to question yourself. The betrayal, the lie, the comparison, in addition to the rupture, cause an enormous questioning of its value, of its identity. To be able to go to the end and finally turn the page, but especially not to remain marked for life and to be able to open your heart again, you have to work on your self-confidence. It is an essential step in this process.
Not comparing yourself to others, being aware of their worth, having good self-esteem. Help yourself with personal development and those close to you, who know you well and who love you, to take this step. And the previous step helps you there too, by developing your talents, by doing what you love, by focusing on your own life, your desires and your projects, you will find this confidence essential to the love of oneself .
# 9 Forgive in order to forget
Many people think forgiveness is weakness . On the contrary, it takes great strength in yourself to forgive someone who has hurt us. Because forgiveness is something we do for ourselves and not for the other. Anger and the desire for revenge will not help you heal, but on the contrary, maintain a toxic bond with your ex. Negative emotions will eventually destroy you. Yes you are angry with her, you cannot stand her happiness when you have not yet finished suffering because of her, it is normal. But your energy should not be directed towards her, but towards you. By forgiving the harm she
has done to you, you will free yourself from her and thus forget her.
# 10 Open your heart again
The time for new encounters will then be allowed, because it will be possible for your heart to open again without fear of suffering or being betrayed. It’s up to you to see if you want a time of celibacy , a time of lightness to have fun or a new real meeting . But in any case if you have followed the previous steps and your “moral” is intact, you will not have to reassure yourself by a relationship dressing or have fun revenge yourself on your ex by making other women suffer. Hence the need for all this progress.
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