It is always me who sends texts and I wish it were otherwise
How to find the bond of the beginnings in his marriage?
Over time, the couple’s relationship changes. We move away, we communicate less, we argue. Yet we still love each other … So how do you get your relationship back on track and rediscover the bond and laughter that made us fall in love?
In a relationship, there is often one of the two people who writes more than the other, who takes more initiative. It’s normal. But when it becomes a real source of suffering for one of the two, it is necessary to act to change the situation. Because it’s tiring and frustrating to always write first. We have the impression of not counting for the other, of not being a priority. He / she is happy to answer each time, without making any effort. It is always me who sends SMS and I would like it to be otherwise: how to do?
Accept that he / she does not have the same needs as you
Some people just aren’t comfortable writing to someone all day, even if they care about that person. Since some people don’t like spending an hour on the phone discussing everything and nothing. Question of personality.
If that person never takes the initiative to send you the first message, that means they’ve gotten into the habit of you doing it for them, and they’re fine with it. She has other priorities right now than writing to you, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t care about you. So there is no need to worry.
Do you focus more on his / her behavior when he / she is with you: does he / she pay you attention otherwise? Does he / she like to surprise you, value you with his / her words and actions towards you? This person may just have a different way of expressing affection to you. Because each person has their own language of love.
It’s always me who sends SMS: write to him only for a specific purpose
If you want your partner to invest more in your SMS exchanges, start by writing only qualitative messages. Write to him only when you have something interesting to tell him, when you want to initiate a conversation that will strengthen your bond. Your exchanges will then be more valuable to him / her, and he / she will be more eager to answer you.
Write to him / her out of a desire to share, and not out of fear that he / she will move away, out of fear of losing him / her . Because it is felt in the messages.
Indeed, if you write to him every day to say nothing in particular, you show him that you are acquired, which is not very rewarding in the end.
So stop writing to him / her to ask if “it’s okay”, to find out what he / she ate for lunch or what he / she is doing. Write to him only to create exchanges of quality, value, in your image.
When you passed in front of this shop that you both noticed the last time for example. Or when you want to invite him / her to the concert of a group that he / she particularly appreciates on Friday evening.
You may be afraid that he / she will forget you if you write to him / her less often. But make sure that if he / she is already forgetting you at this point, it didn’t bode well for your relationship anyway. It would just mean that this person didn’t really care about you. Remember that you are a valuable person who does not have to chase after others.
Just talk to him about it
If this situation becomes too burdensome for you, I invite you to talk to him about it transparently.
Tell him / her that you noticed that he / she needs to write to you less than you do, that he / she needs to keep in touch less by text message, but that for you, on the other hand, it is important. Tell him / her that you would like him / her to write to you a little more often during the day, that he / she take more initiative, because you need to hear regularly, and because you care about him / her /she.
It is important that you talk to him / her about it without falling into the reproach, because he / she could be held up, and not want to make efforts. The goal is to have a constructive conversation together, which moves you forward and allows you to better understand each other.
You have nothing to lose by talking to him about it, by telling him things clearly. Because if this person cares about you, they will make sure to meet your needs, because they want to make you happy.
Actions are more important than anything. If your partner is not able to act for your happiness, you will never be able to be happy in this relationship.
Conclusion: It’s always me who sends SMS
If after all of these efforts your partner isn’t writing to you more and giving you more attention, it might be time to step back. Because this person does not see you as someone important in their life. And you deserve a lot more than crumbs.
You deserve the full attention of someone who makes you a priority, who goes out of their way to make the relationship work.
You can’t do all of the effort on your own. It takes two to make a relationship work. If the other does not follow you, you will have to know how to let go after a while. To keep your self-confidence so precious.