I want to leave him but I’m afraid to regret
How to find the bond of the beginnings in his marriage?
Over time, the couple’s relationship changes. We move away, we communicate less, we argue. Yet we still love each other … So how do you get your relationship back on track and rediscover the bond and laughter that made us fall in love?
You are no longer happy in your romantic relationship, but something is holding you back from taking the plunge. You are afraid that you will make a mistake in causing the breakup, and then regret it. A separation represents a great upheaval in a life, and it is normal to hesitate, to have blockages. I want to leave him but I’m afraid to regret: here are the right questions to ask yourself to move forward.
I want to leave him but I’m afraid to regret: To wonder if the reasons for leaving are legitimate
It is important to ask yourself if the urge to separate really comes from you at first (and not from a friend or a family member for example), and if it There is nothing more you can do to mend a relationship that used to make you happy. To find out if it’s really time to separate, ask yourself if there is more negative than positive in the relationship. Because the goal of a life together is to enjoy, not to suffer. There are 5 questions to ask yourself before breaking up , try to answer them as objectively as possible.
It is obviously normal that there are ups and downs, that there are drops of desire and love in the couple from time to time. But when it becomes recurrent, and it lasts over time, you have to ask yourself the right questions.
And if you want to leave your man for someone else , ask yourself what is missing in your current relationship, which you are looking to fill with another person. Is there not a way to meet this need otherwise, while safeguarding your relationship?
If not, will this new person really be able to meet your needs?
Is there still love?
Ultimately, the most important thing is whether you still feel love for him. Sometimes love is buried under a lot of frustration and anger, but it’s still there. And it’s a shame to move away from a person for whom you still feel something.
However, if you are being honest with yourself, and you know deep down that there has been no love for a long time, it is indeed time to go our separate ways. To rekindle this flame in you, to live again, differently.
Because by staying with someone you don’t love anymore, you don’t leave room for anything else. You don’t have enough space in your life and your heart to have a nice meeting, for example.
Listen to your heart, your intuition
The heart VS the mind
Fears are the object of your mind, which seeks to protect you. If you really want to leave, but your fears are preventing you from doing so, you need to refocus on your intuition, rather than your thoughts of anticipating the worst.
If you listen to your heart, what is it telling you? Putting aside your fears and barriers, what do you really want?
And then finally, what are you really afraid of?
The different possible fears
There can be many reasons to be afraid of breaking up with your partner: fear of finding yourself alone , of making your children suffer, of losing financial security, of not finding someone so good, fear that he does not accept it, to disappoint your loved ones etc.
However, you know deep down what is good for you, what you need to be happy behind your fears.
So isn’t it worth it to lose a level of material comfort to regain your joie de vivre, for example?
Fear of hurting others
If you find that you are staying with your partner out of fear of causing pain, it means that you are putting their well-being ahead of your own happiness. But you can’t make someone happy if you yourself are unhappy. You can’t take care of him, or protect him if you don’t care about him anymore. So what ? You don’t bring him anything after all.
If you are afraid of his reaction, keep in mind that you cannot save him in all cases. And better if he hurts instantly, than to suffer from being unloved for years to come… You kind of release him, even if it’s against his will.
And if he blackmailed you emotionally (by threatening to kill himself, for example), tell yourself that you must walk away from this toxic relationship for your own good. He does not have to manipulate you, nor to have control over you, for you are a free woman.
So if there are children involved, keep in mind that while it will undoubtedly be a hardship for them, the most important thing is that they feel that their parents are happy, even if they are separated. Otherwise you give them as an example that you have to sacrifice yourself for others, even if it means being unhappy for a whole life …
To stay for the children is to make them bear the responsibility that if they weren’t there, their parents would be happier. Because they feel everything.
And as far as the opinion of your loved ones is concerned, that is not their problem, and they will have no choice but to accept the separation, if that is what you decide.
Daring to step out of your comfort zone
To dare to change your life is to go towards the uncertain, the unknown, the new; and it’s scary, it’s normal. If you are determined to break up, you should be aware that of course it will not be easy at first, but it is the “price to pay” for achieving happiness later. Getting out of your comfort zone is necessary to regain your energy, to reconnect with what you really need today, to find yourself and regain your self-confidence.
” We know what we are losing, but we do not know what we find “, it is true. But we have the unfortunate tendency to consider the worst rather than the best. It’s like being afraid of changing jobs: the fear of finding a less good job often outweighs the desire to be more fulfilled on a daily basis. And that’s a shame, because it’s only by daring that we have the chance to find something better.
So remember that fear should not trump envy, happiness, and fulfillment. Put your happiness above all else. You don’t live to be unhappy.
You have to know how to let go when something no longer works, and you have already tried to fix it several times.
So allow yourself to have the relationship you deserve. You have the right to be fulfilled in your romantic relationship, the right to love and to be loved in return.
Conclusion: I want to leave him but I’m afraid to regret
Nothing is final: if it turns out that he is ultimately the man in your life and you both regret, you will eventually find yourself at some point. Trust life for it.
Also keep in mind that there is no wrong choice, because there are always several possible paths, and each of them has both pleasant and unpleasant experiences. This is why there is never any regret to be had, but just experiences to be had.
Either way, you’ll make up your mind when you’re ready, so don’t pressure yourself. There is no need to click, because it will happen on its own when the time is right. In the meantime, take good care of yourself.