How to stop being possessive in love?
How to find the bond of the beginnings in his marriage?
Over time, the couple’s relationship changes. We move away, we communicate less, we argue. Yet we still love each other … So how do you get your relationship back on track and rediscover the bond and laughter that made us fall in love?
Being possessive in love is like taking a little of your partner’s freedom. In a relationship, it is normal to have a part of jealousy but this should not reach reckless proportions. Possessiveness, like unhealthy jealousy , can gradually destroy the couple. Wanting to control the other, watch him, no longer leave him any independence … These are signs of possessiveness that lead the couple straight into a crisis, or even a breakup. Getting there is very dangerous for the couple. Are you possessive? Are you aware that your behavior can ruin everything to the point of losing the one you love? Before getting there, we have to react. It takes real work on yourself. How to stop being possessive in love? Here are a few tips.
How to stop being possessive in love? 7 tips
# 1 Become aware of your possessiveness
First and foremost, before even thinking about solving the problem, you have to be aware of it. You realize that your behavior is hurting your relationship, but you can’t put words into the problem. If you cannot trust your partner , that you are convinced every moment that he is hiding something from you, that you are necessarily thinking of the worst, that he is cheating on you, then you are possessive. Once you become aware of this you will be able to begin to heal from this possessiveness which ruins your life.
# 2 Understand why we are possessive
There are several reasons for possessiveness. It is common for possessive people to have wounds, an experience or an education that marked them a lot. For example, if you haven’t been used to making decisions, doing things or even taking risks. This then translates into an enormous need for security, through habits that reassure you, through an almost timed routine in your relationship. Controlling everything, knowing everything gives you the impression that nothing bad can happen to your relationship. You are unable to let go with your partner, unable to trust him completely.
Possessiveness is also explained by e lack of confidence in itself and in its torque , as it transposes his partner. If, for example, you have been unfaithful or have had a complicated parenting model you will lack confidence which will trigger the lack of confidence in your partner.
# 3 Do not close in: the importance of communicating well
A possessive person will often make a scene when they feel threatened but can also withdraw into themselves. None of these reactions will be effective. The best solution is to communicate with your partner , nothing can be solved in cries and tears. Explain to your partner why you are in this state and if you have real doubts or even proof, show him / her. If all of this is unfounded , listen to his explanations and try to stay calm.
Observe the situation objectively and discuss it together. Whatever the situation remember that yelling or silence will only make the situation worse. The important thing to remember is that only good communication and real communication will be able to help you move forward together and solve your problem of possessiveness.
# 4 regain self-confidence
The lack of confidence is one of the most important signs of possessiveness. It is because of this lack of confidence in yourself that you cannot trust the other. You constantly feel a feeling of insecurity that makes you doubt everything and everyone and especially him. You have this feeling of worth nothing compared to other women for example. You need to be successful in stopping focusing on others and focusing on yourself.
Just ask yourself this question: if he fell in love with me and we are together, it must be for who I am. So why would he look elsewhere? List your qualities, what makes you a beautiful person and ask him too because that will reassure you a lot. Once these qualities are highlighted, develop them further. You are valuable and you need to be aware of it.
Let’s move on to more concrete things.
You understood that you were possessive and that it had to stop for your relationship to have a future. So now you have to get down to business and change your daily behavior to make it work.
How to stop being possessive in love? 3 other tips
# 5 Leave freedom to your partner
This is one of the main fears of the possessive person: letting their partner go out without them. However, you will have to manage to pass this step. Everyone needs independence and in a relationship it is vital. It is okay to have a secret garden as long as it is obviously not harmful to the other. So let him go out with his friends and to better endure this moment do the same on your side. Organize an evening with your close friends who will reassure you during the evening.
Be satisfied with a single little message to find out if it has arrived and if possibly it is having a good evening and then stop, put your phone away and enjoy your friends! When everyone comes home from their evening you will be happy to meet again and discuss what you have done in peace. It will be serene and peaceful and this is what you absolutely must succeed in doing to maintain balance in your relationship and to fight possessiveness.
# 6 How to stop being possessive in love? Stop watching him
Messages at any time of the day or night, coping on social networks, surveillance after work… Stop it all if you did. Once again, it is a question of giving him freedom and above all of trusting him. He often tells you, you don’t have to doubt him, he loves you as you are so believe him even if it is very difficult for you. Just make her understand that you are doing the right thing but just need to be reassured. A few messages during the day will make you happy and him too and that will reassure you and soothe you.
# 7 Accept it as it is
You shouldn’t want to change everything about the person you’re in a relationship with, otherwise it means that you don’t really like them. If we can all evolve to be a better version of ourselves and some flaws must and can be erased, this is not the case. It is you who have a problem of possessiveness, he has nothing to reproach himself with and it is not by trying to change it that you will solve your problem.
Tell him how to dress, at what time or what to eat, how to behave with your family or friends, take him back every time he speaks … These are obviously signs of possessiveness and control that we must make it disappear. And in addition you infantilize it by doing so!
You fell in love with him the way he was, why would you want to change him?
Each person has their own personality, you have to accept theirs. You have of course the right to disagree with him and vice versa on certain things. Each person express your ideas calmly without absolutely wanting to impose yours on them. Otherwise you will run to your loss, finally that of your couple.