How to stop being jealous with your boyfriend?
How to find the bond of the beginnings in his marriage?
Over time, the couple’s relationship changes. We move away, we communicate less, we argue. Yet we still love each other … So how do you get your relationship back on track and rediscover the bond and laughter that made us fall in love?
Being jealous of your boyfriend can be a source of conflict and a lot of suffering.
Jealousy in love is the fear of losing the loved one, the fear that they will leave for someone else (implying someone better than oneself).
Being jealous is a rather healthy reaction initially, because it serves to protect us. But it can sometimes become disabling, when it is akin to a daily anxiety that the other does not understand. A tendency to paranoia can develop: “he hid his cell phone when I arrived, so he is sure to be cheating on me”. This is called sick jealousy .
Discover here several tips to find serenity and no longer be jealous with your boyfriend.
To stop being jealous with your boyfriend, you must first understand what causes jealousy
Think about what exactly causes jealousy in you: a particular gesture, a word, an insecure behavior on the part of your boyfriend?
Your fear is surely related to a childhood wound of betrayal, or abandonment. You may have already experienced betrayal from a man (an ex or other close relative), or your father who abandoned you for example. So you feel like you’re never good enough, so the men around you always end up leaving (called a false belief).
Your past makes it difficult for you today to trust a man again, as the fear of history repeating itself is pervasive in your mind.
Don’t let your hurts or fears control you. Every story is different, and you are not a victim of fate.
If you clearly have in mind the person who betrayed or abandoned you in the past, it may be time to forgive them on the inside.
Forgive so as not to live in resentment, anger. To make room for something else in your heart. Forgive so that you can trust again and move forward.
Give her the opportunity to be reassured
When we endure our jealousy, we sometimes tend to avoid talking about it, out of shame.
But it’s important to communicate well with your partner about your fears, so they can understand your behavior when you’re jealous of them. You can tell him that when you see him talking to another woman, you are distressed. Tell him that you are trying to calm this fear inside you, because it makes you suffer.
Talk to him calmly, when you are not upset if possible (otherwise you risk telling him in a tone of reproach and in the grip of anger). Chances are he will be touched by your words, and want to reassure you, because he wants you to feel good.
Gain self-confidence to no longer be jealous with your boyfriend
It’s hard to trust someone when you lack self-confidence. As we saw above, jealousy comes from the fear of not being good enough, of not satisfying your partner.
If the worst should happen (a deception or he leaves you for someone else), it does not in any way mean that you are not good enough. It would just mean that he would not have known how to recognize your worth, or simply that he had needs which were not met in the couple. These are things that happen, and it shouldn’t affect your self-esteem.
You are as valuable as anyone. You are an incredible woman, unique, with many qualities. So stop comparing yourself to others, because there is no comparison to be made.
Focus on your qualities, on what makes you different from others. Remember the reasons he chose you and not someone else.
Accept that it can happen
You can’t control everything, and being possessive isn’t going to prevent the risk of that happening.
It is even the opposite, because jealousy is a vicious circle. Indeed, if you are suspicious you will be in control, not be yourself in his presence, not be pleasant with him. You will no longer be in love and trust, which risks damaging the relationship. This is why I invite you to let go, to accept that it can happen and that there is nothing you can do about it.
Distrust is contagious, as is trust. Have confidence to attract trust and honesty to you.
Reconsider the image of the couple to no longer be jealous with their boyfriend
Finally, jealous people tend to be in close relationships , to be dependent on their partner and to see it as their possession.
But emotional blackmail , monitoring the messages he sends or preventing him from going out with his friends are not the solutions to make sure that he stays with you until the end of your life.
You know that if your boyfriend is staying with you, it’s because he’s good.
So there is no point in constantly questioning it, doubting him and you. Just make sure you nurture the relationship on a daily basis without suffocating the other. It is the best way to maintain happiness and love in your relationship.
Acting in a healthy way with your partner is the best way to live a healthy and caring relationship.
And remember that a couple is made up of two beings who have chosen to be together, knowing that they can leave if they choose to. And it is this feeling of freedom and mutual trust that makes a couple happy and serene.