Arrival of a baby and tension in the couple: how to avoid the baby clash?
How to find the bond of the beginnings in his marriage?
Over time, the couple’s relationship changes. We move away, we communicate less, we argue. Yet we still love each other … So how do you get your relationship back on track and rediscover the bond and laughter that made us fall in love?
The arrival of a child is the most anticipated event, the one that is crowned with happiness. But despite everything, it is also a great upheaval which can be synonymous with strong tensions in the couple. The arrival of a baby can indeed cause conflicts due to the radical change of life. Fatigue, new responsibilities, various worries. You cannot be fully prepared. And that creates difficult times for both parents sometimes. How to prepare for this beautiful event to avoid the tensions of the couple and the famous baby-clash? How to live the transition from couple to parents serenely? Arrival of a baby and tension in the couple: how to avoid the baby clash?
Arrival of a baby and tension in the couple: how to avoid the baby clash?
The baby clash, what is it?
The baby clash is the arrival of strong tensions in a couple at the birth of their child . This happy event can indeed bring about many things: b unregulated childhood wounds that wake up, the mother who feels misunderstood, the father who feels abandoned and excluded from the mother-child relationship … All these factors will be the departure of many tensions in the couple which can unfortunately have dramatic consequences.
Before the arrival of a child, the couple is a pair and works that way. No responsibilities, no schedules or constraints, they live as they want as long as they are on the same wavelength. But when the baby arrives, this rhythm is called into question and it is obviously no longer possible to live the same way.
From a married life to a family life
We no longer see our partner only as their spouse or lover, we also see them as a parent . It is a huge change that brings upheavals every day on an emotional level as well as on a practical level. Both parents have less time to devote to their personal activities and their relationship. This is all the difficulty when you become a parent. We must learn to make concessions, to adapt and above all we expect our partner to be up to his new role.
The emotions are increased tenfold, the sensitivity is on edge, the worry of not knowing how to go about it is omnipresent … It is therefore difficult for a couple to succeed in managing all this flood of emotions that are sweeping over them dizzying speed. This is why many couples find it difficult to cope and tensions arise, followed by a baby clash for sure.
Arrival of a baby and tension in the couple: How to avoid the baby clash?
# 1 Prepare as best as possible
Many of us have already said this sentence when we have felt the urge to have a child: “I am ready” . But can you really be ready to experience something you don’t know? Not really !
We feel the urge, sometimes even the need, but we are not ready to live it because we do not know what to expect. So you have to see things differently by telling yourself that you are ready to change your life. It is especially important to realize that the arrival of a child turns an entire existence upside down. So be “ready” to live differently, to see your relationship change, to accept the inevitable tensions and fatigue.due to the very short nights at the start. You have about nine months to prepare for all of this. Talk about it as often as possible, imagine things, document yourself, talk to those close to you who have been there. You will make mistakes it’s inevitable, all parents make them. But if your couple is united, you will be ready to face this upheaval which is also the greatest of happiness.
# 2 communicate well
With a baby or not, we can never say it enough: communicating well in a couple is what is most important. It is essential to defuse problems so that they do not get too big.
Explain to your partner how you are feeling, both what is right and what is wrong. Dare to open your heart to him freely, do not be ashamed to admit your fears and worries because he surely shares them. It is important to speak when you have time because between two bottles and a diaper change it will not be constructive. Listen to the other, to the feelings he has had since becoming a parent and vice versa.
The mom may have been traumatized by the labor pains and the dad confused or powerless to know what to do. Do not be embarrassed between yourselves, speak and express your emotions. You both wanted to start a family is that the love you feel for each other is very strong, so everything must be done so that the arrival of your child embellishes it and does not do not damage.
# 3 How to avoid the baby clash? Share tasks
What creates the first conflicts after the arrival of a baby is often the lack of organization . With the arrival of a baby we are quickly overwhelmed by diapers, bottles, laundry and all other household tasks such as shopping that must continue to be managed. The best way to avoid drowning is to organize yourself and share tasks .
If the mom breastfeeds the dad will not be able to manage the baby’s meals for example. In this case he can manage the layers or the races. It’s up to you to see what is easiest on your end, but don’t be overwhelmed by household chores. With good organization everything is possible . And then just in case don’t hesitate to ask for help. At such times we are happy to have the support and advice of our own parents as long as they remain benevolent.
# 4 rest as much as possible
This is surely what is most difficult with the arrival of a baby: resting. However, it is because of fatigue in general that the first tensions occur, it is therefore essential to try to spare yourself. If the dad is working and has not been able to take his paternity leave or vacation it is even more difficult. The mother has to manage the whole day and often the nights too.
In this case, let the dad sleep at night from Monday to Thursday for example and when the weekend arrives you reverse, if the mom is not breastfeeding of course. Then, if you’ve done a good job of sharing the housework, give yourself at least one restorative nap during the day during baby’s naps. A little rest will do you the most good and is necessary for your balance.
# 5 How to avoid the baby clash? Spend time as a couple
Becoming parents does not mean no longer being a couple. You were before your baby arrived, you still are. If you don’t take the time to reunite with each other, your relationship is likely to fall apart. You cannot be just parents, you must remain two people who love each other and need to be together. Your relationship should be at the center of your life, like your child.
With a little organization it is quite possible to manage both. Call on the grandparents who will surely be happy to come and take care of their grandchild and go out for a romantic getaway; if only for a few hours. Walk, restaurant, cinema, night in a hotel if you manage to leave the baby overnight. What you want as long as you step out of your new role of parenting for a few hours.
# 6 accept changes in your partner
The arrival of a child inevitably changes us. For women, the change is even more present because it is also physical . It is therefore necessary that each one accepts the changes in the other and that he also accepts no longer to be his “whole”. We have to admit that our partner can love their child and still love us just as much. Find a new way to function as a couple and a parent at the same time. One does not prevent the other. Thus, you will be able to move forward and flourish in your new role as parents while maintaining the love and complicity within your relationship.