6 signs of emotional manipulation and how to fix it
How to find the bond of the beginnings in his marriage?
Over time, the couple’s relationship changes. We move away, we communicate less, we argue. Yet we still love each other … So how do you get your relationship back on track and rediscover the bond and laughter that made us fall in love?
Have you ever had a friend of your own dating a man you just can’t stand? You could see from a thousand miles that this man was toxic, evil, devious but you were unable to convince her. If you insisted, she would remind you that you yourself had fallen in love with absolute jerks and that you might well save your advice.
In fact, it’s very easy to spot emotional manipulation when it involves people you love, but pros say it’s hard to spot the puppeteer pulling your own strings .
Here are 6 signs to recognize emotional manipulation:
1 / The relationship is intense or even fusional
Keeping relationship partners confused and disoriented and distracting them with fantasies about what’s to come or good times past is a common tactic employed by manipulative and abusive partners.
2 / you have a fear of abandonment
You should know that manipulated people can start to doubt their reality, to feel uncertainty or a certain fear.
Many victims may view the signs of emotional manipulation as normal exchanges in a relationship. Are you wondering how to tell the difference? Tell yourself that if there is fear, then it is unhealthy and then there is manipulation. If you are afraid that you will be hurt or afraid that you will be left behind, there is a problem.
3 / You have the feeling that something is wrong
It is important to listen to your instincts. Unless you are paranoid, if you have a knot in your stomach and a tight throat to touch it, there is a good chance that you will be manipulated. You constantly feel insecure. The point of manipulation is to maintain control over you, and making you feel bad about yourself can be a way for the manipulators to exert their power over you. They use your weaknesses against you.
4 / They want you to be dependent on them
If you have no one else to turn to, it is easier for the manipulator to control you. This is why attempts at isolation or extreme emotional codependence can be a sign of manipulation. Because, by being emotionally dependent , they will have absolute power over you.
5 / They constantly compare you to others.
Comparing yourself to others can be a form of manipulation. Indeed, this comparison is designed to evoke feelings of inadequacy and competition.
6 / manipulators keep you away from your loved ones
Watch for ungrateful behavior or other attempts to be seen in a favorable light, as this is often a deliberate attempt to increase the isolation between the victim and their support system by creating the illusion of doubt . For example: The first person to write “Happy Birthday!” To your mom on social media can’t be a manipulative or abusive person, right? False ! Managing impressions is a daily effort for the manipulator, who works hard to get others to love him as a shield.
The tactics used by the manipulators:
- The gaslighting , that is to say make you doubt your reality.
- Constantly changing the rules of the game, so that stated goals or rules of engagement are constantly changing.
- Demand intense loyalty or secrecy
- Forcing you to hide important news from the people you love.
- The pressure to never share the reality of the difficulties outside of the relationship.
- Inconsistent communication flows, including ghosting , lies by omission, and selective memory.
- Refusal to compromise
- Always speak in absolute terms, without ever leaving room for compromise.
- Lack of empathy
- Dehumanizing words or behavior
- Minimize the distress of others
- Create situations that only benefit one side (theirs).
- Selfishness and a lot of “I”.
- Mood swings, that is, very emotional highs and depressive lows.
- Love bombardment, that is, being overly charming and giving excessive positive attention, including giving lavish gifts and praising in public.
Emotional manipulation: how to deal with a manipulator?
1 / set limits
Define the limits of acceptable behavior towards you and state the types of treatment that you will not tolerate. Be sure to only set limits that you are prepared to meet. Otherwise, you’re just teaching a violent person that they just need to push harder to get what they want.
2 / Be ready to walk away.
If your partner is willing to respect your boundaries and meet you from a place of mutual respect and compromise, the relationship can potentially move forward, as long as you both avoid repeating toxic behaviors that will trigger off. old schematics. If there is a lack of will on the part of your partner, then you can start to reimagine your life outside of the relationship.
3 / Strengthen your bonds with your healthy relationships
Reconnect with a support system outside of the manipulator. Refuse to be emotionally isolated again. Wrap up in stable, loving relationships with your family and friends. If they too have been acquired in the positive image of your partner, consider reconnecting with old friends who have not yet met your partner. Or make new friends by indulging in a hobby or sport that will allow you to interact with another circle of people.
4 / Stay true to your instincts.
When someone you care about mistreats you, it makes no sense and can be extremely confusing. Stick to your instincts. Decide which course of action is best for
your physical, emotional, and psychological health, whether it’s defending yourself in the relationship or walking away. Know that love and mind games don’t mix.
5 / Work with a professional.
Seeking help can be done through a clinical social worker, therapist, psychologist, psychotherapist and / or licensed and trained psychiatrist. With the help of a professional, you (and possibly your partner, if they are willing to do the job with you) can learn new communication tools – like the use of open-ended questions and non-guilt-free language. – in order to improve dialogue and establish a culture of respect for the ideas of others.