My guy lied to me about his past: How to react?
How to find the bond of the beginnings in his marriage?
Over time, the couple’s relationship changes. We move away, we communicate less, we argue. Yet we still love each other … So how do you get your relationship back on track and rediscover the bond and laughter that made us fall in love?
Do you have the feeling that your partner lied to you? Have you come across a lie and you don’t know what to do? This situation leads to a real feeling of betrayal. Even if we have the right to have secrets as a couple: lying is inexcusable, because it leads to a loss of trust between the partners. You ask yourself questions and you say to yourself: my guy lied to me about his past … We are going to analyze why lies can be present in your relationship.
Be careful, because lying creates a vicious circle
Lying inevitably leads to lies , because we will create a vicious circle, an infernal spiral from which it will be more and more difficult to escape. At the beginning we will lie for a futility, but very quickly in order not to discover the futility we will add a second and so on. Little lies will end up creating a completely invented parallel life.
The lie by omission
It is when you do not tell the truth to preserve the well-being of your partner. If, for example, we know that someone close to you is very sick, we can tell the person that there is nothing alarming. Ditto, if you have lost your job, but prefer to hide it to reassure the other person.
The unhealthy lie
It is the one in which we will enter by desire or interest in order to create a life distorted from scratch. If, for example, you cheat on your partner and decide to lie. The other will feel that there is discomfort and the couple will lose their wealth and end up dying in pretense.
Read also: My boyfriend lies to me what to do?
Why lie in a relationship?
We lie because we do not feel up to it , we have the feeling that the lie will not create any argument and that we will keep a semblance of peace in the couple. Unable to take our responsibilities, we will flee out of shame and cowardice. The major concern is that trust will deteriorate very quickly.
How do you get a lie to be confessed?
If you feel like your partner is lying to you, it will take some straightening out to restore order and the truth. By speaking openly without preconceptions and reproaches , you will be able to help the other to engage. You will come to understand its logic and you will be able to open yourself to HIS understanding.
It is essential not to get angry or not to cry, otherwise the other will turn upside down and sink even deeper into his lies.
How to act afterwards if my boyfriend lied to me about his past?
When you are sure you have come across a lie and have had an open discussion with your partner, you are going to have to make a decision! Either you can forgive and you will move on, or you will feel blocked.
You risk having suspicion towards the other without being able to really forgive. You should not stay if you feel that the confidence is no longer there; no couple can really function without mutual trust in their partner. The couple must remain a space of freedom and well-being, if this is no longer the case: leave your partner to focus on your happiness and your fulfillment.
Read also: Breakup letter I’m sick of your lies
But forgiving betrayal or adultery can take time. And a couple can easily get up after a lie if the rules are clear: now, no more lies!
Conclusion: My boyfriend lied to me about his past
If you are sure that your partner lied to you about their past: Take action! You can listen, respond or give up, but you’re going to have to position yourself. If you allow lying to take hold, it will eventually take up all of the relationship. You will end up living without knowing how to distinguish the truth from the lie.