Getting a man to talk about his feelings: How to do it?
How to find the bond of the beginnings in his marriage?
Over time, the couple’s relationship changes. We move away, we communicate less, we argue. Yet we still love each other … So how do you get your relationship back on track and rediscover the bond and laughter that made us fall in love?
It is often said that men have a harder time expressing their feelings than women. Less talkative, less inclined to confide, to open up, they do not necessarily feel the need to put words to what they are experiencing . For them, speaking is a way to make oneself understood and not to express feelings. Faced with your partner’s silence, you sometimes doubt his feelings, or even your story. This creates emotionally difficult situations to deal with. Still, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t feel anything. How do you get a man to talk about his feelings?
How do you get a man to talk about his feelings?
Despite the evolution of mentalities , the image of the man who never reveals his feelings has remained anchored in the conscience. For many, it is still an act of weakness hindering male virility . Victims of the ancestral heritage which wants that ” a man is strong, it does not cry “, your man has simply not learned to express his emotions, his feelings. On the contrary, he was used to always staying in control .
Actions rather than words
Clumsy , modest , men find it difficult to openly express their feelings. And besides their inability to express themselves, they do not use the same words and interpret situations in different ways. Man is more in action than in speaking . Behind its innuendo, you have to be able to decode your real feelings.
Read also: Why a man does not express his feelings ?
Thus, many women find themselves confronted with men who have difficulty confiding in themselves and expressing their feelings. If you are in this situation, here are some tips to help your man tell you more about his feelings.
How do you get a man to talk about his feelings?
The key element: time
Give him time . This is the sine qua non for him to open his heart. While not all men need it, on the contrary all men who have trouble talking about their feelings need some time to let go. If, of course, it is not a question of letting months and months go by without any words, it is necessary to give time to time according to the evolution of your relationship. Don’t rush it , and let time do its work. The more confident he feels, the less he will feel the need to keep his emotions buried.
Indeed, the best way to lock your companion in his silence is to rush him. Patience will be your greatest weapon , so operate gently and don’t put pressure on it. Do not try to force him to talk to you or give him an ultimatum , because that is really not the right way to achieve your ends. Take him step by step, focus on moments of well-being together in order to make him aware of his feelings for you before revealing them to you. When that day comes, you will be all the happier for it.
Accept its operating mode
How to make it finally open to you? If, like many, the man you are with is more in action than in expression, you have to learn to understand his actions . Indeed, what he does in relation to you and your relationship can have a symbolic significance that you must recognize.
Indeed, where you seek affection, understanding from your partner, he thinks he is being judged on his results . It is very masculine to be in this logic of performance and not in the emotional register. With your understanding, he’ll settle into your relationship and feel comfortable there. Enough to make him say his feelings.
Nourish a certain admiration
Faced with the doubts and anxieties that he may feel but that he does not always allow himself to show, a man who feels admired will gradually succeed in allaying his fears and investing himself fully in his relationship. He needs to be recognized for his actions. He needs to know that he’s the one who makes you happy . So feel free to let him know as often as possible, but with subtlety. Reassure him about what he represents , he will less question the existence of the couple.
To let him know, nothing better than a well-rounded compliment , all subtlety and sincere. It is not a question of putting him on a pedestal, but it is important to be proud of the person who shares his life, reciprocally, and to stimulate the other by precisely showing his pride and his admiration. It is a way of feeling loved and therefore also revealing your feelings.
How do you get a man to talk about his feelings? Put him in confidence
As with time, confidence is a key element for a man to dare to reveal his feelings. To help your darling to express itself , we must also learn to indulge yourself. The reciprocity is of course central to everything.
Talk to him about your needs, your weaknesses to show him that he too has the right to be vulnerable and that you don’t expect him to be a strong, manly man all the time. Then ask him questions, about his past for example, and listen to him carefully. You must be able to identify why he refuses to expand on his feelings in order to adapt your speech and your behavior to be successful in expressing him. To break the deadlock of unspoken feelings, reassure him by letting him know the strength of the feelings you feel for him. To encourage him to reveal himself, use small loving attentions , for example, little words of love, because it will push him to answer you and talk about his feelings.
Conclusion: Getting a man to talk about his feelings
Once confidence is installed, that you have given him time and space, that you have understood and reassured him, it will be time, gently, to tell him that you too need to be reassured . And that it goes through the word too, by the words that one puts on his emotions, by the feelings that one exteriorizes . Because the fact that he never expresses his emotions to you could end up making you doubt. Obviously, there is no question of blackmailing emotionally or asking an ultimatum, but of balancing the relationship once the taming phase has passed. Getting a man to talk about his feelings is not always easy, but not impossible!