Differences between jealousy and possessiveness: the guide
How to find the bond of the beginnings in his marriage?
Over time, the couple’s relationship changes. We move away, we communicate less, we argue. Yet we still love each other … So how do you get your relationship back on track and rediscover the bond and laughter that made us fall in love?
In a relationship there is often jealousy and possessiveness. It is important to be able to distinguish them, because their impact is not identical. By knowing what it is, we will be in a better position to be able to protect ourselves. Understanding the differences between jealousy and possessiveness will allow you to better understand your relationship.
Differences between jealousy and possessiveness: Focus on jealousy
The feeling of jealousy can rekindle the flame in the couple , but also extinguish it when it takes too much space in everyday life. Jealousy can even destroy a couple when it becomes a constant obsession. You might think it is proof of love to be in jealousy. If this feeling grows stronger and jealousy becomes pathological, then we can speak of a problem of “possessiveness” .
Differences between jealousy and possessiveness: Focus on possessiveness
In possessiveness we mean “possession”, which would mean that one of the partners needs to possess the other person. This need for appropriation can become overwhelming, even unbearable . It is a feeling that is toxic because it highlights a lack of self-confidence and a problem of abandonment . So whatever the partner may do, the other will always have a lack inside of him, a fear of being abandoned. The person in pain unconsciously thinks that he can resolve his pain by being in a fusional relationship made up of possessiveness.The person who suffers from it is selfish in spite of itself and cannot think of the happiness of his partner. This need for exclusivity will tend to return the other to the state of “things”, because we believe that we can use it as we see fit.
What to do ?
When you want to change a situation, you have to do it quickly! If we let too much time pass, the relationship will settle on a certain tempo and it will be perilous to change the rules. It is important to speak with your partner as often as possible, because true and sincere dialogue can save all couples . When you speak with your heart, the other will listen to you with empathy. Do not hesitate to say what is bothering you, trying to find a situation “together”. In the majority of cases, you will be able to erase the few imperfections that tended to bother you.
Watch out for frustrations!
If as time goes by you accumulate frustrations after frustrations and you realize that your story is going towards a destructive feeling: sound the alarm bells and question yourself. Maybe you’ve given your partner some permissions to act this way. Just as it is possible that your partner is acting abnormally. Either way, decide to act by assuming your responsibilities. It happens that we are forced to leave a relationship, because we no longer find what it is for and misfortune seems to have settled down.
Decide to stay
If you decide to stay, it is because you are assuming that your partner is jealous / possessive and that it is “okay” for you. This implies that you accept to live with a person who will always be in pain, because his inner “lack” will not be able to find any respite. Your love life will be full of losses and turmoil, and you agree to say “goodbye” to all peace. The advantage is that you will never be bored with your partner who will take care of making you live a changing and vibrant life . Know that if you stay, it will be advisable to heal the wounds of this other who is in permanent suffering.
Decide to leave
Leaving means choosing to respect yourself , because you deserve happiness. You realize that your future will never be bright and that your efforts will be in vain. Living with a person suffering from jealousy / possessiveness quickly becomes oppressive, because you will never be entitled to your secret garden . Perhaps taking a break in the relationship can also be a trigger for your partner who might decide to change. Jealousy is always “cute” at the start of a relationship because it makes the other person feel like they have real feelings. But, very quickly the couple will be trapped in an endless vicious cycle.The fact of living with a person who does not trust quickly becomes unbearable. We have the right to flourish in a sentimental relationship. Staying with a jealous person often entails the risk that they will become possessive .
For further :
- How to get rid of sick jealousy?
- 35 quotes about jealousy
- 4 signs to recognize unhealthy jealousy
- Where does love jealousy come from ?
- Is jealousy proof of love ?