Can a couple without love last?
How to find the bond of the beginnings in his marriage?
Over time, the couple’s relationship changes. We move away, we communicate less, we argue. Yet we still love each other … So how do you get your relationship back on track and rediscover the bond and laughter that made us fall in love?
The conception of love varies according to people, couples, ages and generations. Everyone has their own definition of the word “love” ! We will try to go further by trying to understand if it is possible to continue a union without this love that once gave us palpitations! Can a couple without love last?
What does “love” mean
To answer the question: can a couple without love last, we must already make the difference between love and the state of love.
The state of love is one of the first emotions: butterflies in the belly, thoughts, desires, the need to see each other … Over time, this feeling gives way to everyday life which combines monotony with awareness. We end up seeing the other’s faults, we question ourselves and we enter the road of compromise. We are no longer in love like the first day, but it is far from disenchantment . It is in the awareness of reality that the couple can really be born.
What is being in love?
The heart that beats at 100 per hour, the stress of the message that is long overdue, the butterflies when you see your loved one … this is the feeling of love. We idealize the other because he (she) represents what we have always wanted. We deny the flaws and imperfections, because our partner is indeed Prince Charming (or the princess of fairy tales). Our gaps are filled, our fears are gone and the ecstasy lasts and lasts with each meeting . We are in a fairy tale! It is passionate love based on the idealization of the other .
But over time, the state of love fades and time to disappear. Because sooner or later one has to enter the reality that knows no fairy tale. It is the confrontation with the real world that will be the ultimate test to know if the couple will last beyond the vagaries of life . Breakups are often present at the time of this transition, of this phase of opposition , because one cannot bear to be put in front of this partner who is not exempt from all reproach. The Prince Charming (where Princess) becomes a partner in life: the companions with whom (which) we face the storms of life.
To love is something else …
It is when we come out of chimeras and enter into everyday life that we can begin to love. In the past, we hovered, we imagined and we fantasized the other while now we learn to love him for what he really is . Learn to love our lover because he has such a character trait, such weakness and such defect. The merger gives way to reality which accepts without judging. It is the brain that takes over from the emotions: we live and move forward knowingly.
We no longer idealize but we solidify our bases to build a lasting relationship. To love is no longer to be in the myth of perfection but in the acceptance of a reality. We decide to become mature by doing with the positive days and the negative moments. The partners have passed the course of meaningless arguments and we decide to grow up together. We love it because we have managed to hang on and confront each other beyond our differences. Differences will create understanding, listening and determination.
Read also: Differences between love and the state of love
Can a couple without love last?
The answer cannot be limited to a YES or a NO. What is essential is to have succeeded in solidifying the foundations of the relationship. In the meantime, we can stay as a couple out of habit because we will have learned to live with the other. Some people stay together because there is family and children. Others will stay because there is a true and sincere friendship . The couple varies according to the partners.
A couple can last and endure as long as possible if and only IF both partners have truly and sincerely loved each other. It is the foundations of the couple that will allow their longevity! Take the time to get to know the other person so that you know if you really want to go some distance with them. Only with time and patience can you make your relationship last.