Are there different types of infidelity?
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When we talk about infidelity, we think of physical infidelity. To adultery , to deception , to a double life with a lover or mistress . Or to a fickle man or woman who looks elsewhere, who needs to seduce and to have other partners for pleasure. But is this the only possible form of infidelity? In a relationship, are there not other sources of infidelity than physical pleasure? Is cheating on your partner just being in bed with someone other than him? What about the different operating modes of a couple? What about the thoughts, the emotions, the vagaries of life that push us down the path of another type of infidelity?Are there different types of infidelity? The answer is yes, here is the detail in this article.
Are there different types of infidelity?
Infidelity in the couple is often a source of rupture . One deceives, the other learns it and leaves us. Or we cheat, we realize that we are no longer happy in our relationship and we leave. But there are nuances to the different forms of infidelity. It is these nuances that make the couple can sometimes live with infidelity in an assumed or insidious way. And, other couples forgive infidelity .
There are people who cannot be physically faithful, this is stronger than them. Even as a couple, saying they are in love, these people feel the need to look elsewhere out of desire or because they cannot find what they are looking for in their partner. But this is not just physical. It can be emotional , psychological or virtual . Whatever the reason, instead of leaving their partner, for fear of being alone, for laziness , for comfort , for habit , they prefer to cheat on him or her.
Here are the 5 different types of infidelity that we have identified.
The different types of infidelity in a couple
1) Accepted and shared infidelity
Before entering into cases of infidelity in the proper sense of the term, we can first of all evoke assumed physical infidelity .
For these couples, it is a choice to live in an open relationship . That is, they are together but they have the right to have physical, emotional or sentimental relationships with other people. We can speak of polyamory , of a non-exclusive relationship, of a free relationship. With, for each couple, its own instructions for use, its functioning accepted, wanted, agreed and assumed by both sides.
They are love triangles , polyamorous, swingers, polygamists. Whatever the name they give each other and their romantic practice, these are couples for whom the notion of infidelity is not the same as for a so-called classic couple . Because for them fidelity is not an inherent value in their way of living their sentimental life. No physical, emotional or sentimental exclusivity, sometimes even all three at the same time. It is a lifestyle choice that does not place infidelity in opposition to the couple and to love.
2) Psychological infidelity in the commitment bond
This type of non-physical infidelity exists within an established couple , who have built a life together. It is a type of infidelity synonymous with betrayal .
Psychological and emotional betrayal because it is the basic bond, the original loving feeling of the couple and therefore the commitment made, which is betrayed.
Indeed, in this type of infidelity, no need for a third person. The unfaithful to his partner is between himself and his conscience , and this is an untruth which is infidelity .
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This form of infidelity in the bond of commitment is that of couples where one of the members does not love the other or no longer. Sometimes it’s a form of nostalgic infidelity when you always have your ex in mind, for example. We spend our time rehashing our memories, comparing, in short we may not have mourned in love with our old relationship. Sometimes it is the wear and tear of the couple, the flame of desire that flickers . The boredom that gave way to the beneficent routine in the couple. Whatever the reason, there is no more love and infidelity to the commitment made sets in.
The relationship is maintained out of habit, fear or simple indecision when it comes time to take the plunge, to leave. It is the lack of honesty with oneself and with one’s partner, the absence of feelings of love that creates infidelity.
We are no longer loyal to the other because we lie to them about what we feel, about the value of the commitment made. We then become unfaithful to the other, to his couple and to oneself. At the commitment made . You have to have the courage to examine your conscience so as not to let an unhealthy situation take over. Because, as one can imagine, this form of infidelity, the longer it lasts, the more it will become a high psychological and emotional suffering.
Different types of infidelity: the most common infidelity
3) Classic physical infidelity
This is the case most often cited. It can take the form of proven adultery, a physical relationship with a third person that lasts over time. Or the simple form of an occasional extramarital physical relationship .
Physical infidelity can in fact be divided into two cases, two possibilities. The double life or the drive for an evening . Adultery with a concrete and sustained affair with a mistress or a lover, or a penknife in the contract , as the expression says, which responds to an impulse of one evening, one night. The extra glass in the evening, the argument that makes you want to reassure yourself about his power of seduction, and we rock. Towards the fleeting desire , the attraction for another person, the need to be filled urgently, the lack.
Read also: I left my wife for another and I regret it
Infidelity which is done in a physical way is perceived as the most serious form in the sense that the partner is actually being cheated. Physically, from the kiss to the most total intimacy, the other shares his body and what makes the couple’s intimacy with another person. It is difficult to forgive and almost impossible in the case of a double life.
Two more different types of unhealthy infidelity for the couple
4) emotional infidelity
Sometimes one of the partners is led to deceive the other because he is in need of affection, of attention . But this infidelity is not physical. Emotional infidelity is a romantic loving friendship , platonic or spiritual love between one of the partners of the couple with a third person.
Since there are no physical relationships, infidelity is denied to maintain the illusion that it is just a strong friendship and of no consequence to the couple. But this friendship is a “stolen” emotional support and often it deviates from the simple friendship bond towards a stronger complicity .
So what happens when our partner connects emotionally with someone in a more intense way than with us? There is no physical contact here, but nevertheless, this bond based on complicity, trust and intimacy is revealing.
So much so that it can be seen as an “emotional adventure” and as an infidelity in its own right. And it becomes dangerous if curiosity sets in to the point of lack , accompanied no longer by romanticism but by a form of desire.
Even if nothing happened physically, this has direct consequences on the bond of complicity that forged the couple. In this case of infidelity, you have to ask yourself the right questions about what is wrong with your relationship. So much so that you feel the need to talk to someone other than the one you are supposedly in love with.
5) virtual infidelity
This type of infidelity is a combination of emotional and erotic reactions. Infidelity becomes a game , a fantasy , a form of narcissism , an addiction . It starts on social networks or dating sites, can take place with real or virtual friends.
The cheating partner shares lengthy online chats on topics that can turn into truly intimate conversations. Active monitoring of a virtual profile with likes and comments, private messages, exchanges of photos or videos …
This type of infidelity involves the same kind of emotions as the extramarital affair. There is the secrecy, the fantasy and the excitement, the rationalization of the activity and the denial of the consequences. This infidelity is just as devastating as an extramarital physical relationship.
Alas, it has become very common these days. Virtual relationships are made easier because they can take place 24 hours a day via mobile phones. These new communication tools provide a whole universe where it is possible to have one or more parallel relationships.
In this case, there is no physical contact, but engaging in ambiguous behavior in secret is evidence of infidelity. Indeed, exchange images and messages. Have interactions loaded with seduction . To trivialize this behavior is to allow virtual infidelity to put the couple in danger. It is to privilege one’s life behind a screen rather than the concrete reality of what makes existence.
In conclusion, yes there are different types of infidelity and if some couples manage to overcome them, others prefer to stop there. Because, once trust is broken, it’s hard to put the pieces back together.