Doubting your feelings at the start of a relationship
How to find the bond of the beginnings in his marriage?
Over time, the couple’s relationship changes. We move away, we communicate less, we argue. Yet we still love each other … So how do you get your relationship back on track and rediscover the bond and laughter that made us fall in love?
Is it okay to doubt your feelings early in a relationship or is that a bad sign? When you start a story, the feelings are not immediate, and it is normal to have uncertainties. If some people fall in love at first sight, which is confirmed over time, others need time to feel in love. But if the doubt sets in to the point of wondering if we really feel something for the other, or if it will come one day, does not that not hide the face in the end? So at what point should you ask yourself questions and question your relationship when you are led to doubt your feelings at the beginning of a relationship?
Doubting your feelings at the start of a relationship
Relativize a normal situation
First thing: if you have any doubts, don’t tell yourself that this is proof that you are not “really” in love. Before letting doubt invade you to the point of questioning everything, tell yourself that it is quite normal to be hesitant at first . Of course, we tend to think that everything should be all beautiful, all pink, that we should feel a kind of obviousness. But don’t forget that this kind of hesitation can be essential for the relationship and give your feelings time to reveal themselves, to bloom and to blossom.
A doubt related to the commitment of the other?
Here is one reason why it may be possible to have doubts. In this specific case, it is legitimate to have doubts about how you are feeling. When the reciprocity of feelings is called into question, the relationship cannot work. Whether or not you consciously doubt the other person’s sincerity, it is not surprising that you block your feelings and therefore doubt. So indeed, why start a relationship with problems? To test the reverse pattern? If this happens to you early in a relationship, it’s not a good sign. A beautiful love story is one where there is reciprocity in feelings, both yours and hers.
The fear of loving again: one of the reasons to doubt your feelings at the beginning of a relationship?
Is this man really right for me? Does this woman really match me? Am I sure I want to engage in a relationship with this person? Can I trust him? These are all questions that can arise when you doubt your feelings at the beginning of a relationship. You find yourself torn between contradictory feelings, you take one step forward to take two steps back, and sometimes you start to completely doubt your feelings.
If there are degrees in the doubts that we may have, they are unavoidable. Our prejudices, our fear of the unknown, that of repeating a failure or of suffering again come to waver our benchmarks . These warning signs, of course, must be listened to , while keeping an eye on things. Recognize our justified doubts and those caused by our fear of loving again. It can happen to doubt yourself and your feelings, depending on the weight of your past in love in particular. Not having certainties at the start of a relationship is an inherent worry in being in love .
Ask yourself the right questions
To find out where you are with your feelings, take the time to ask yourself the right questions. It is a simple but effective method to locate yourself.
If the answers are generally positive, then tell yourself that it is good enough! At the beginning of a relationship, it is quite normal to take your time and ask yourself the question of the strength of the feeling of love. Everything in its time.
Should we talk about his doubts?
The answer is yours in the sense that it all depends on what state you are feeling. But your feelings are your “ responsibility, ” so it’s not up to the other to know for you what to do. Of course, if the doubt about your feelings is related to his behavior, then it is more than appropriate to discuss. Communicating well within the couple is essential. At the start of a relationship, we may tend to keep our doubts to ourselves, so as not to frighten the other, to make him suffer or to see him flee. But if you feel the need to share your doubts, dare to say what you have on your heart, your fears, your desires and therefore your doubts, while assuming your position.
Doubting your feelings at the start of a relationship because of a long period of celibacy
Have you been single for a long time? If you haven’t had an ongoing relationship in a while, you’ve obviously developed a bachelor’s habit . On a daily basis, you don’t even think about it, but you may find it difficult to make room for someone in your life, and therefore also in your heart. And after so long, you’ve had plenty of time to idealize things, to dream of the perfect relationship. But dream and reality never correspond in every way. It is therefore up to love to take away doubts , not reason . And for that, you have to give it time to settle down.
An ex still in the heart?
What if celibacy was not the only reason for your doubts? What to do with your romantic past is to leave it behind. You have to know how to turn the page to be able to embark again in a love story and give a real chance to a new relationship. Is this your case, are you free to feel love again? Or is your ex still part of the equation? If your heart is not free or still in pain, then it is okay to doubt your feelings in a budding relationship. And then, the problem is always the comparison, we will judge this new love compared to the old one. Thus, either we will hope that it saves us from the precedent ; either that it anesthetizes the pain of the past rupture. So, we can never say it enough, not having mourned a previous relationship creates an emotional imbalance in you that distorts everything and prevents you from loving again.